Till I see the light
by KGStutts
Summary: Sequel to "The Devil I thought I knew" After the events in the conclusion of the last story, will Kris be able to move past it?
1. Chapter 1: Cowboy

"You look so silly with that hat on." I giggled.

Jon began to strut around my bedroom with an over-sized cowboy hat and tight blue jeans.

"Think I'm sexy now?" He asked, wiggling his butt at me.

"Incredibly." I giggled watching him.

"Kris?" I heard my father ask as he knocked on the door.

Jon dove into my closet, just in time.

"Yeah, Daddy?" I asked, as innocently as I could muster.

"I thought I heard noises." Dad said as he looked around my room.

"Just me, Daddy." I held up the book in my hands.

"Oh. Must have been the TV. Sorry to have disturbed you." Dad causally said as he backed out of my room.

"Cowboy, you're going to be the death of me one day." I tried to sound stern but failed as Jon's head pops out, still wearing the cowboy hat, from in between my jackets.


	2. Chapter 2: Darkness

The sound of busting steel and shattering glass is the only sound I hear.

My sweet dream, my memory of my Cowboy strutting around my old bedroom, is ripped from me as the pain washes over my body, filling every sense.

I smell the burning tires and the blood. I can't be sure whose.

I hear the earth-shattering scream. I think it's mine.

Pain wrecks havoc on my body.

I taste...blood. So it is mine.

I can touch the pavement...wait, wasn't I just in my car?

"Miss? Miss? Help is on the way." I hear a disembodied voice in my ear.

I'm not in my body. I can't be; the pain is too much to bare. Blackness is all around me and it's weighing. It's all too much. I want to lie in the blackness, it feels safe.

A part of my brain, however, tells me to struggle against the black.

Someone's voice is in my ear, telling me to hold on. Hold on to what? I can no longer feel anything. Finally, the blackness overtakes me.

It's all that I know.


	3. Chapter 3: Hospital

Somehow, I find myself getting away from the darkness.

My eyelids feel heavy but I force myself to open them. I carefully move my head, trying to see my surroundings.

The hospital. My left arm and leg is wrapped in a cast. IVs are sticking out of my right arm, sensors glued to my chest. I find that I can move but it kills me to do so.

Balloons, flowers, and gifts are an assortment on a table to my right, completely filling that side of the hospital room. I gingerly search my bed area to find a red call button and push.

"Ms. Green?" A nurse pops her head into the room a minute later.

"Wh-ha-ow." I attempt at a coherent sentence fails.

"You're disoriented right now and that's understandable. You've been in a nasty car accident. You've been in a coma for three days now." The nurse informs me.

"C-car?" I manage to get the word out.

"That's right. You have three waiting rooms filled with people anxious to see you. The hospital has been a mad house with reporters and fans outside. You're very well loved. Do you think I can get an autograph?"

"What?" I blink, barely able to understand her.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Here, sip on this and relax. I'll be right back." She says.

The water cools the burning in my throat. I must have fallen asleep because when I open my eyes, a doctor is standing at the foot of my bed with my chart in his hands.

"Ms. Green, my name is Dr. Rhodes. It's good to see you are awake. You have a lot of people worried about you."

"Th-thank you."

"Your brain still foggy?" He asks.

When I'm not able to formulate a response, he orders a CT scan.

"You're going to be fine. There will be some confusion, which is natural for a brain trauma."

"Tra." I pause. "Tra-"

"Don't feel like you have to speak. You were in a bad car accident. Your brain has suffered as a result but I feel like with some rest, you'll be fine. Nod if you understand."

Hurt. Car. Leg. Pain. Head. Slowly, I nod.

"Good. You're going to go back to sleep now. You should feel better when you wake up."

My eyes are already closing, succumbing again to the darkness.


	4. Chapter 4: Awake

It takes me several moments to realize where I am and why.

The flowers, balloons, and gifts are now spilling over to the other side of the room. My throat no longer feels as raw as it did, but it still hurts. I anxiously hit the call button, waiting for the nurse to come in.

"Ah! Nice to see you again. I didn't introduce myself properly. My name is Cathy." The tiny nurse bounces into the room.

She's short and petite, with jet black hair and a dark blue streak on one side. Her finger nails are painted black and when she leans in to check my vitals, I can see a nose ring. If it wasn't for the scrubs, I wouldn't know she's a nurse at all.

I watch her as she flutters across my sides, writing down in the charts.

"Are you feeling better?" She asks.

Am I? Compared to what? I blink several times but don't respond.

"You poor dear. I must say, I've been a big fan of yours for years. We'll get you back on your feet in no time. Would you like some visitors?"

Would I? Slowly, I think I nod yes.

"We won't overwhelm you but there are a few who are insistent on seeing you right away." She says.

I can hear the doctor explain to someone in the hallway that I may have trouble remembering or speaking but don't be alarmed. Well, at least my sense of hearing is in tact.

I watch as a tall man with short, brown hair and brown eyes inches his way into my room. His eyes are filled with concern, fear, and anxiety. I realize it's because he's not sure what I'm going to say or do. I look him over for a moment, my mind trying to connect with my eyes. He's handsome, I quickly decide.

Relief breaks out on my face as my brain finally makes the connection.

"Phil!" His name croaks out of my mouth.

"Oh Kris." He's crying. I hadn't noticed that before.

I reach out with my one good hand and he walks to my bedside. Phil leans down and kisses the top of my head, then my forehead before he takes my hand in his.

For a moment, I marvel at the feeling of his hand in mine. He presses his forehead to mine for a moment before pulling up a chair next to me.

"You scared me to death." He tells me.

"I'm sorry."

"No reason you should be. You're." He pauses. "I would have lost my mind."

I give his hand a squeeze.

"The doctors." He begins,stroking my hair gently with his free hand. "Say that you're going to be fine, that you just need a little time. I promise you I'll be there every step of the way."

I nod, unable to tell him how grateful I am. His mere presence makes me feel better.

"Pretty much the entire WWE has been in the waiting room at some point or another but you know, the show must go on. Cena wanted me to tell you that he's here in spirit but he just couldn't get off the road."

I give him a curious look when he mentions Cena but don't ask any further questions.

"Are you okay? You want to see a few of the boys?" Phil asks.

I think for a moment before nodding.

"If it gets too much for you, let me know. I'll send them out, okay?"

"Okay." I agree.

Phil kisses my forehead one more time before going to the door.

Three men make their way in. Their face pretty much the same as Phil's when he came in. I look over each of them for a moment, trying to connect.

The first one who entered is about the same height as Phil, although Phil is more muscular. He has long, black hair with a blonde streak on one side and a goatee.

"Ty." I slowly grin at him.

Tyler releases the breath that he had been holding and grins at me. "Hey baby girl."

My eyes swing to the tall, muscular man next to him. He has beautiful long, black hair and darker skin tone than the others, although he's not black. The word Samoan pops in my head.

"The blessed one." I managed to speak.

"You normally just call me Joe. How are you hanging, lil sis?" Joe asks.

"Yep." I respond.

The third makes his way to the foot of my bed. A mixture of worry and sorrow fills his blue eyes. He's the same height as Phil and Tyler, but is more muscular. Just not as muscular as Joe. He has dirty blonde hair that's looks like he's in need of a hair cut, slightly curly.

"Hey sweetheart." His raspy voice says.

I look over at Phil then over at Tyler. "I don't understand." I say.

"What's wrong?" Phil asks.

I pause and chew on my bottom lip.

"Kris, it's okay. Take your time." Joe tells me.

But it's not okay. I give an irritated sigh and look up at Phil again. I motion for him to lean down so I can whisper in his ear.

"Am I su-sur-supposed to..know him?"


	5. Chapter 5: Visitors

I am barely listening when the doctor explains my list of injuries.

My left arm is broken. My leg was crushed. I've already had one surgery on it and another is scheduled. My nose was broken but has already been fixed and is healing. The cuts on my face should go away soon.

My brain worried the doctor. I could tell without him needing to admit it. I might have to go back to surgery soon.

Phil promises to take me home once I am discharged. Home. Unable to ask, I merely point at his chest.

"Chicago." He tells me.

For some inexplicable reason, I feel relieved.

I would only allow visitors one in at a time, except for Phil, who rarely left my side.

The chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon, came in one day. "Hey, pal." He greets.

"Vince." I nod.

"You're doing really well, Kris." For some reason, my name sounds weird coming from him. "I want you to know that you'll always have my support. Your job is here whenever you are ready."

"My title?" I ask.

Vince chuckles. "That's my girl. Don't worry about that. It's yours when you get back."

Phil only left my side one night a week. When I asked Tyler why, he turned on the TV.

"Monday Night Raw. He has to be there." Tyler tells me.

"Champion." I look to him for confirmation.

"That's right. He's the WWE Champion." Tyler nods.

I had recognized everyone that had come to see me, save for one. Phil told me that his name is Jon, who is someone who is very special to me. I immediately feel guilty that I don't remember.

My eyes flutter open, sensing someone is in the room. Phil had already left for TV.

"Hi." I look over at the dirty blonde haired man, Jon, sitting beside me.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am." He says, his voice rough.

"What for?"

"It's my fault you're in this bed."

"The car accident?" I blink, tears filling my eyes.

"You were mad at me and was yelling at me on the phone when the SUV hit you."

"Why?"

"I did something I shouldn't have. Or at least I think I did. I don't remember."

"Don't understand." I shake my head.

"I wish I did myself." He leans away from me, running his fingers through his hair.

"Explain?" I prompt.

"Long and short of it? You found another woman in bed with me, although I don't remember how it happened."

"Other woman?"

I want to beg him to help me understand but the words fail me. Jon looks absolutely tormented.

"It's okay." I tell him.

I reach out and take his hand in mine and give it a light squeeze.

"It's not your fault. Accidents happen." I say, giving him a half smile. "No sorries here, Jon. Happy thoughts. Get through this."

"You're nice to say that. I wish it were true." He despondently says.

"You don't remember other woman?" I ask.

"I don't remember." His pain registers in my ears.

"Me neither." I say, a full smile on my lips. "Two like beans."

"Two like beans?" Jon asks.

"Stuck together." I say.

"Oh. You mean, two peas in a pod."

"Yes!" I enthusiastically say.

Jon shakes his head before returning with a genuine smile. I can't help but smile big at him as his smile makes me feel warmth throughout my body.

"No sorries." I tell him.

"You're right. No sorries. I just hope you feel this way when you remember."

"I remember now." I say with confidence.

That didn't come out right. I hope he knows what I mean.

The angst returns to his face as he gently brushes back some stray hairs from my face.

"I love you. If nothing else, remember that."

Shock rattles my system as I get caught up in his eyes.

"I remember." I promise.


	6. Chapter 6: Leaving the hospital

The surgery went well on my leg. It's no longer in a cast but it looks completely mangled. Nurse Cathy says it'll be fine once the bruising and the swelling goes down. I'm told I'll need physical therapy but should be good as new after that. My left arm starts to inch from under my cast, which a lot of the wrestlers have signed. It's still sometimes hard for me to formulate my thoughts correctly and my speech isn't always right. This worries me much more than it worries my doctor, which I guess is a good thing.

I do end up having a second brain surgery after a scan shows a bleed. My speech starts improving after that.

"So what's going on?" I ask Phil.

"Everyone misses you. I get asked on a constant basis how you are doing."

"I want to go back." I frown.

"And you will. You're improving all the time. I'll be able to take you home soon."

"Home." I close my eyes and smile at the thought. "No thanks is enough." I smile up at him.

"None is needed, my love."

"Love." I repeat the word out loud. "It's what we do. We love."

"It is."

Love. The word alone brings full of hope and comfort. "Comfortable. Safe." I try expressing myself, getting more and more agitated when my words don't come out like I want.

"I understand, Kris. You're trying too hard." Phil presses his lips to my temple. "You are all those things and more, my love."

"I don't want to be broken." The words bubble out of me before I have time to process the meaning. "You fix me."

Phil seems to grasp what I'm saying and gives me a little smirk. "That's another thing we do."

Finally the cast is removed from my arm. I'm becoming more and more able to move around without pain. Phil keeps his word and we return to Chicago once I'm released so I can rest at home. Once I'm able to move around freely, I begin asking to go back to work.

"Sweetheart, you've got to let yourself rest." Phil tells me.

"But I've been gone too long." I say.

"Such a wrestler." Phil shakes his head at me and smiles.

"You're such a wrestler." I say back.

Phil starts laughing and pulls me into his arms. I rest my face against the curve of his neck and relax.

"See there. Nice and relaxing." Phil gently rubs my back.

I close my eyes and breathe him in deeply. I wiggle my body closer to his, planting a kiss on his neck.

I can't hide my stunned expression when he pulls away.

"What I do wrong?" I ask.

"Absolutely nothing, Kris. It's just...you're still healing and I'm..."

"Nervous?" I ask.

Phil nods. "Me too." I tell him.

I press my body to his again, holding him to me. "Love me." I whisper into his ear.

I kiss the tattoo behind his left ear before he has a chance to say or do anything. "Love me." I whisper again.

I don't have to ask a third time.

Our lovemaking is sweet and gentle. I feel happy as I lay in his arms as we are both panting but something triggers in the back of my mind, like a shadow moving across the dark spots in my brain.

"Everything okay?" Phil asks.

"Wonderful." I say, trying to push the shadows away.


	7. Chapter 7: Doctors What do they know?

Jon isn't the only elapse in my memory.

I was looking at files on my laptop when I came across several different folders with Word documents in it. I saw the same documents from an app on my iPad.

"Did you know I was writing a book?" I ask Phil one morning at breakfast.

"Uh, yeah, actually. A science fiction book, I believe you said."

For some reason, Phil looks a little nervous. When I ask him about it, he gives me a noncommittal shrug.

"Anyways, I found it on my iPad. Whatever I write on my iPad gets copied to a folder on my laptop. So the two are linked. Pretty cool." I grin.

Phil nods, looking pleased as I hold up the iPad to show him. I slide it over to him to let him read a bit.

"Wow, this is good. Really good, actually."

"You seem surprised." I raise an eyebrow.

"Maybe I little. I know I shouldn't be but maybe it's because I'm so used to reading in comic form." He says with a smirk.

"Jerk. I'm a good writer." I say, snatching the iPad away from him.

I try to look angry but it wasn't fooling him.

It's still frustrating the black spots on my memory. I sometimes still feel like I'm lost to the darkness, like I felt on the pavement after the accident. After the doctor medically clears me, I start seeing a psychologist.

"Your doctor has told you that there may be blank spots due to the trauma you suffered." Dr. Taylor tells me.

"It feels like there is more than that. I still have trouble talking sometimes. Not like it was, thankfully. For the most part, I can talk normally. But sometimes the words don't come out right. And these blank spots." I chew a little on the inside of my cheek. "It's darkness. It's more than holes." I tell her.

"Ms. Green, the type of trauma that you went through can not be understated. Your heart stopped beating several times before you got to the hospital. You've had to go through multiple surgeries. Your life has severely changed."

"I don't want the darkness." I tell her.

"Tell me about Phil." She leans back in her chair and begins to tap on her notepad with her pen.

"Phil?" I blink several times, taken aback by her question. "Phil's great. He's always been there for me. We take care of each other."

"He sounds like a good friend."

"The best." I chuckle. "Best in the world."

"You have a great deal of affection towards him."

"I love him." I honestly say.

"Who would you say is your best friend, aside from Phil?"

"Ty." My face breaks out into a smile. "Tyler. Joe. Trish. Nattie."

"Who's your favorite wrestling opponent?"

"Male or female?" I ask.

"Let's go with female first."

"Trish and I had a lot of fun, then she retired. AJ was good, although a bit different because she's so tiny. Nattie, I adore Nattie. Sara Del Rey, Saraya Knight, Kellie Skater. I could go on but that's a few."

"And the men?"

"Bryan Danielson. I miss Bryan. Wade Barrett. Phil and I had some excellent matches. Edge. Dolph. I actually got a few good ones out of Miz, and that's not easy."

"Talk to me about Jon."

I instantly freeze. "Jon?"

"He's down in Florida, isn't he? He now wrestles as Dean Ambrose."

"Right." I chew the inside of my cheek.

"What's wrong?" She asks, writing down a note on her pad.

"I'm not quite sure." I bashfully admit.

"I'm told that you two have quite the history."

"I'm told that as well."

"But you don't remember."

"I wish I did."

"Do you?" She eyes me carefully.

"Of course." I snap.

"It seems to me that he's connected with your blank spots. Maybe spending some time with him will help."


	8. Chapter 8: Back on the road, sort of

It took a little longer than I wanted, but still shorter time than the doctors originally thought, but I am medically cleared for work.

Phil often sleeps in my bed, but only because of the nightmares. I never remember enough of my nightmares to tell him what they are about. But I always wake up in a pool of sweat and crying until he holds me. He hasn't tried to touch me, other than comfort me, since I came home. When I asked him about it, he just shook his head.

"Please don't get me wrong. Your recovery has been impressive." He says after I press him for several minutes. "But I don't see the light in your eyes, Kris. I can't bring myself to be with you until I see that light that I love. I'm sorry."

I told him there isn't a need to apologize if that's how he felt. Still, it did hurt.

"Meeting with Vince and Stephanie today, huh? I bet you are excited." Phil says over his coffee cup the following morning.

"Hm?" I am completely lost in thought.

'You here, Kris?"

"Yeah, sorry. Yeah, pretty happy. Maybe I'll get back on the road this week."

"I know you're cleared but are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Wrestling?"

Phil nods. "I am medically cleared." I tell him stiffly.

"I know you are and I'm proud of you. Just if anything were to go wrong..."

"I get it. You're worried."

Phil nods again. "Maybe you're right. Maybe you need things to return to normal for you to fully heal. And, as usual, I'll be by your side when you do."

I grin at the twinkle in his eyes.

"We've got an idea for you that you may or may not like." Stephanie begins.

"I'm all ears."

"We do feel like you need a little more time but also agree that you need to get back in the swing of things. So what would your thoughts be to going down to Florida?" Stephanie asks.

"Florida? For training?" I question.

"Kind of. You can help Sara with the new crop of girls she's training. It'll also get you back in the ring, knock some rust off of you. We also want you to referee for the FCW shows." She explains.

"Ref? You want me to ref." I wrinkle my nose at the idea.

"Here's my idea." Vince interjects himself in the conversation. "We've been working a little story with Dean Ambrose. That he's not all there, maybe a little screwy. We're going to put him in a program with William Regal."

"William wants to work?" That surprises me. He's been down in Florida for a while as a trainer and as a commentator for the local TV show that FCW broadcasts.

"He requested to work with Mr. Ambrose." Vince tells me.

"Dean must have impressed him then." I say.

"He's impressing a lot of us. My idea is that he's only calm and follows the rules when you're the ref. You calm the manic in him. We'll work that into the story with Regal, since he was your trainer. What do you think?"

"Yeah." I nod after thinking it over. "I think I like that."

Phil doesn't hide his surprise well when I tell him about Florida.

"At least you are still in some plans. Maybe after you knock the rust off and they get their confidence back, you'll be back on the road officially." Phil points out.

"Still hate it." I grumble. "But you're right. Hey, I get to work with William. That's something." I positively say.


	9. Chapter 9: FCW

"I think if one more person asks how I'm feeling, I'm going to scream." I say as I lace up my boots.

"It is a legitimate question, lil sis." Joe says, poking me in the shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah." I grumble.

"You're grouchy today." Tyler says as he pulls on his elbow pad.

"I'm just sick of people treating me like I'm glass. I'm not fragile." I pout.

Tyler can't help but laugh at me as my bottom lip starts sticking out. Joe, however, doesn't seem to find it amusing.

"You can understand why we're concerned, right? Don't be irritated, lil sis."

"I'm trying." I sigh.

"You're trying too hard." Jon roughly says as he starts getting in his gear.

"And what's going on with you?" I snap. "You've been walking around here lately like a beaten dog."

"I could ask you the same thing." Jon slightly raises his voice.

"Excuse me?" I cross my arms over my chest defensively.

"You want to know why we're looking at you like you could shatter at any moment, sweetheart?" He sneers at the usual term of endearment. "Because you look like you could. Where the fuck is that fire in you that we all love so much? You are the most passionate woman I have ever known but the only time I even see a flicker of who you once were, you're in the ring. And that sickens me. I don't know if it's because of the car accident or what."

The passion and the strength behind his words leaves me breathless. Something deep in the pit of my mind begins to stir.

"Something needs to change soon. You either need to come back to me, or finally shatter into a million pieces. Either way, you'll be out of your misery." He tells me before storming out of the room.

His words strike a chord in me. I lean back in my chair, completely at a loss. A small bell went off in my head when he said to come back to him. I swallow hard then recollect myself. We still have to work tonight.

Tonight, my friends will be wrestling in a triple threat match with me as the referee. Jon would be attacking William Regal, who would be on commentary, post match.

Our storyline has been progressing well. Jon and William Regal have wrestled once but I wasn't allowed ringside or as the ref. Both men found it to be distracting. There had been a few pull a parts and promos that I had been involved in. Everything is building up nicely for Jon and William's second match.

"Cheer up. It's getting better, isn't it?" Tyler asks.

Is it? The nightmares still continue, I still have blank spots in my mind...but being back in the ring helps tremendously. I found that I love helping Sara train the new crop of girls. My ring rust has been falling off steadily. I feel more confident than I have in months. Soon, I hope to be back at my physical fitness and back on TV.

I assure my friend that it is getting better, grateful that I no longer have to lie.

The match is excellent, with Joe eventually winning. We played up a little of the connection between me and Jon, without making me look bias, throughout the match. The pull apart at the end really sets things in motion. Every time Jon would jump on William, I would pull him off, eventually getting in between the two. Jon attempts to jump on William but I step in between, holding my hands out. It was clear: if Jon was going to get his hands on William, it would be through me.

The crowd is on their feet. William is defenseless in a corner. Jon angrily paces for a moment, deciding on a course of action. He is supposed to roll out of the ring to get a steel chair but instead, he grabs a fist full of my blonde hair and kisses me. I pull away automatically but he presses his mouth on me forcefully before he lets me go. I cover my mouth, completely shocked. William has had time to recover and the two men are on the outside of the ring, brawling. Both men take vicious chair shots from each other before they are finally separated.

William gives me a big hug when we get to the back. "I've been wondering where you've been but I see you finally arrived."

"What do you mean?"

"I saw a flicker in your eyes tonight while we were going at it." William leans in, inches from my nose. "Yep, it's still there." He says with a grin.

"You're wicked." I tease.

"True villain, my dear. And so are you." William leans down into my ear and whispers, "And so is our dear Mr. Ambrose."

"You're terrible." I pull away, grinning.

"I'm just saying it's time to make amends. It'll do you both some good." He nudges.


	10. Chapter 10: Massage

A few hours later, I decide that William is right. I show up at Jon's hotel room with a small canvas bag over my shoulder. He looks surprised to see me when he opens the door.

"Expecting someone else?" I ask.

Jon leans against the door frame and studies me. "I thought Seth and Leakee were crashing here."

"I paid them off to give us a little alone time. I hope you don't mind."

Jon's lips twitches as he watches me. "What did you have in mind?"

"Your shoulder took a blunt in from William's shots. Figured I can help with that." I say, brushing past him.

"I didn't invite you in."

"Were you not?" I raise my eyebrow as I sit down on his bed.

Jon roll his neck until I hear a pop then walks over to me.

"Alright, you ready for round two from our discussion earlier?"

"I'm not here to fight with you. Take off your shirt, lay down on your stomach." I instruct.

Jon looks at me awkwardly but complies. I pull a bottle of oil out of my bag and pour a small amount into my hand. I straddle him for a moment before centering my weight comfortably on the back of my heels and his ass, my knees firmly into the mattress.

"This really isn't necessary, you know. I'm fine." Jon says.

"Hush." I order as I place my hands on his back.

He opens his mouth, seemingly again to protest, but a moan slips out. I grin but don't say anything as I kneed his shoulder.

"Holy hell, woman." He murmurs into the pillow as I roll his shoulder blade.

"You really should get a massage more often. We do have trainers, you know."

Jon looks unable to speak as I place one hand under his shoulder and lift up to gain full access. After a moment, I can feel the muscle pop and return to where it is supposed to lie before I gently lower him back down to the bed.

"How..how did you do that?"

"I used to be an athletic trainer, believe it or not. Sports medicine is a love of mine. It's how I paid the bills before WWE."

My knuckles work their magic going down his back. I am rewarded with another groan from him.

"How did you get this scar?" I ask, my finger tracing the outline of a healed gash on his back.

"Barbed wire death match in '09. They had to cut me out of it." He explains.

I bend down and gently kiss the entire length of the scar before moving over and doing the same for a scar on his shoulder.

I hear his breath catch for a moment before returning to normal. "What are you doing?"

"If I had it in me, I would kiss every scar away."

His back is littered with evidence of his hardcore ways of wrestling. Instead of maring his beautiful flesh, each mark seems to add to his story. I can feel him tensing up so I get back to my massage.

"My doctor seems to think that you hold the key to a few things for me." I tell him.

Jon's chuckle is muffled by the pillow. "Is that why you are here, sweetheart? Hoping I...unlock a few things?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I just." I chew on my bottom lip.

"Just what?"

"I just find it hard to stay away from you."

"I know."

"Why didn't you visit me?"

"I felt guilty for you being in that hospital bed. I should have stopped you from running out the door."

"You said I found you in bed with another woman?" Jon nods the best he can into the pillow. "But you don't know how she got there?" Jon nods again. "Tell me as much as you can. I'm trying to understand."

"I'm trying to understand it myself. I went to a bar to have a few drinks after work. I don't even remember getting back to my apartment. Next thing I remember, you're waking me up and Lita is in bed naked with me."

"You were that drunk that you don't remember?" I question.

"See, that's the thing. Even at my drunkest, I don't black out. But I don't remember much after that she-devil sat down next to me at the bar."

I frown and rub my temples.

"There's a part of me that wants to hate you. Another part wants to believe you and move past all this."

"Confusing, isn't it?"

"Very."

"Very well. I can shed some light on that."

I roll off of him so that he can sit up. Jon flexes his shoulders and neck, seemingly pleased.

"How much has Punk told you about our history?" Jon asks.

"Very little." I confirm. "Just that we seem to share a special bond."

"We do. It's one that I'm not even sure you know how deep it runs."

"Tell me our story." I implore.

Jon holds my gaze for a moment before I see a shift in his eyes.

"We met when we were kids. I was thirteen at the time and was getting beaten up like I used to do on a daily basis back then. You came at them with a baseball bat." Jon's lips twitch at the memory. "We were pretty inseparatable after that."

"What happened?"

"You and I have always had an intense relationship, even back then. We were each other's first."

"First? You mean."

"Yep. We had sex for the first time on the merry-go-round at the playground in between our houses. We used to sneak into each other's rooms at night. But your parents-especially your mother-resented how close we were. The straw that broke the camel's back was when your mother caught us."

"Oh." For some reason, I start to turn red.

"You were forced to leave. We didn't see each other for ten years."

"Wow."

"We never got over each other. That bond we felt as children only seemed to grow in time instead of weaken. It's one that only we seem to understand."

"Do you think you can put into words why?"

Jon slides closer to me on the bed and gently starts to stroke my skin from my ear to the base of my throat.

"Your mentor said it best; we're just true villains. You know what it's like to have to fight for everything in your life. You know what it feels like to have to walk around with a knife in your pocket just to survive. You get how it feels when blood is pouring from your head. When you aren't sure if you are going to see the morning light and are always grateful when the sun comes up. We understand the darkness yet we are constantly searching for the light. The draw, the appeal of someone being your match. We're that match. We're both the candle and the moth that gets drawn to it."

Jon cups his hand behind my ear, gently running his thumb on my earlobe. My heart races as I see the intensity in his eyes.

"No one will be able to love either of us like we do. We can either be each other's salvation or destruction, Kris."


	11. Chapter 11: Nightmare

The sound of the door opening causes us to move slightly away from each other.

"Don't let us interrupt." Tyler says, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Not interrupting anything." I try my best to keep my voice casual.

"I don't know about you but I could use a drink." Joe says as he plops down on the bed.

"Got you covered, big guy." I say.

I reach down into the canvas bag and pull out a bottle of Jack.

"You're the best." Joe grins.

"I've been told that." I smirk.

Tyler grabs four glasses and pours us each a bit.

"A toast!" Tyler holds up his glass. "To the four of us. May the future be a place we all want to live in."

"Here, here." I say, clinking our glasses together.

It doesn't take much before I am feeling the effects of the alcohol. I am giggling as I am rubbing my eyes.

"You are drunk." Tyler looks at me, highly amused.

"No more for you." Joe takes the glass from my hand.

"It's fine." I wave it off.

"Punk is going to kill you." Tyler looks at me warily.

I scoff. "Please. Last time I checked, he isn't the boss of me." I am thoughtful for a moment. "Still, there is no reason he has to know about this."

The three men laugh which causes me to turn red.

"Can I ask a favor?" I ask.

"Of course." Tyler says.

"Can I crash here?"

"Didn't you get a room?" Jon asks.

"No. I was hoping to sleep here. I don't want to sleep alone." I answer.

"Why is that?" Joe asks.

"Nightmares." I simply say, my voice slurring a little.

"I got you. Lay down." Tyler tells me.

I try to protest but my head is already against the pillow. I feel a pair of lips brush my temple as I drift off.

The darkness surrounding me is freezing cold. I try to rub my arms for warmth but it's no use. I close my eyes, trying to will the overwhelming feeling of being alone gone. When my eyes open, I'm standing in a raised dirt circle with a ravenous crowd screaming and yelling surrounding me. This I am familiar with. I recognize the redhead standing across me. Lita. My blood instantly boils with the recognition.

"It's not your fault, after all." She calls over to me. "He just needed a real woman."

"Bitch." I launch myself at her.

I quickly get her to the ground, wailing punches and knee strikes. In the next moment, the ground gives away and we're falling. I grab a hold to the ledge as she falls away. I see someone else falling into the abyss but I catch his hand.

"Kris!" Jon yells as he struggles to hold my hand.

"Hold on!" I attempt to pull us both up.

I feel his hand begin to slip from me. Frantically, I try to pull us up but I'm not strong enough.

"Don't let go!" Jon is scrambling at the wall, trying like hell to find a foot hold.

"Jon, I can't hold on much longer!"

"Yes you can. You have to."

In that moment, Jon's hand slips from mine. I scream as I watch helplessly as the darkness consumes him.

"Kris! Wake up, sweetheart." A pair of strong arms grip my shoulders, shaking me awake.

"Oh God." My eyes fling open, full of fear and alarm.

Jon is on his knees on the floor, holding on to me tightly. I give out a cry before I wrap my arms around him.

"I got you." He tells me, holding me tightly.

My whole body is shaking. I've only just become aware that I've been crying. I grip him as tightly as I can until my fear subsides. Jon presses his forehead into mine until my breathing is no longer erratic.

"You're okay. I've got you." He soothingly tells me.

"I've got you too." I whisper.


	12. Chapter 12: Fight with Lita

After Jon's second match with William Regal, I get a call that I had been waiting for. The return to the road.

"You're going to be a surprise entrant into an Intercontinental Title scramble match tonight. So you'll be running with the title for a little while as well as having little run ins with Punk and Heyman." Stephanie informed me.

"Sounds good." I nod.

"How are you feeling? You look good." Her eyes look me up and down speculatively.

"I'm good." I give her a polite smile. "I'm ready for this."

It feels so good to just be sitting backstage in catering. I'm showing Nattie my iPad when Lita sits down at the table.

"What do you want?" I demand.

"Just seeing how you were." She cooly says.

"You could have seen from over there." I point to an empty table.

Cena sits down and grabs my attention for a moment, pulling me away from Lita.

"Hey!" I hear Nattie exclaim.

Lita has my iPad in her hands. "What the hell is this crap?"

I snatch my iPad from her. The application I have been using to write my book is open to an empty folder labeled "Chapter 10." I search but the chapters that were titled "Chapter 11 and Chapter 12" were completely gone.

"What did you do?" I demand.

Lita shrugs. I check the application and the folder is empty. Two aren't here. My chapters is gone.

"That's it!" I yell before launching myself at her.

I kicked the table away as I knock Lita out of her chair. My fist connects with her several times before Cena and a few others pull me off. John has to throw me over his shoulder and carry me out of the room.

"Put me down!" I yell, beating on John's back.

I try to wiggle out of his grip but it's no use. John deposits me down on a couch. Phil as Lita up in the same manner, putting her down opposite of me.

"Fucking bitch!" I jump up but John knocks me back down on the couch.

"Calm down!" John hollers at me.

Lita's lips curl in an snarl. "Dean sends his love."

My eyes automatically darken. "You no nothing about his love."

"I know about that night, one I'll never forget."

I attempt to jump at her again but this time Phil pushes me back down, ordering me to cool off.

"That's interesting because it's one that he doesn't." I call over Phil's shoulder. "Why is that, I wonder? Did you do something or are you just that forgettable?"

Her eyes register the shock at my words but her facial muscles don't move. I can barely contain my anger at this point. Stephanie and Triple H are now in the room, trying to calm the situation but I will not back down.

"You did, didn't you?" I confront.

I push past Phil, who grabs me by my arm but doesn't pull me back.

"You're one sick bitch, Amy. What happened? Did Jon turn you down so you drugged him?" I accuse.

Lita breaks her eye contact with me. I click my tongue at her.

"You are pathetic." I sling my bitterness towards her.

"Seems only fitting." She snaps. "You took Punk from me. So I took your precious Jon from you."

Phil's grip tightens on my arm, although I can't be sure if it's because I'm balling my hands into fists or because of what she said.

"You took so much more away from me than him." My tone is harsh but even. "You took months away from me. My career, my life, my memories. I will make you pay. Mark my words. It won't be today. May not be tomorrow. But I am coming for you. I will make you pay severly, intimately. I will pay you tenfold the pain you placed on me. Get accustomed to looking over your shoulder."

"That's enough, both of you." Triple H admonishes.

"Get her out of my sight." I order.


	13. Chapter 13: Making up

After the show, I sit down on the bed in the hotel, looking over what files that are remaining from my book.

"So it's really gone?" Phil sits down next to me and taps on the iPad.

"Yeah. Once it's deleted on the application, it's gone. I lost a big portion of my book." I sadly say.

"I'm sorry." Phil gently rubs my back.

"I'll rewrite it." I bitterly shrug.

"I had no idea that you two hated each other that much."

"Me neither, I guess." I press my lips into a thin line.

Phil cups his hand under my ear, tilting my head to look up at him. I swallow hard from the look in his eyes. For the first time in a while, I can see my reflection warm in his eyes.

"Hey." He calmly says.

"I see you." I grin at him.

"I see you too." He returns my smile before he kisses me.

The fervor behind his kiss momentarily takes me by surprise before I kiss him back just as eagerly. My iPad falls absentmindedly onto the floor as I wrap my arms around him. We quickly discard our clothes, both of us craving the feel of each other's skin.

I moan loudly as Phil takes my nipple into his mouth, sucking and teasing the tender skin hard. My fingers grip his hair, wiggling beneath him. Phil pushes my thighs slightly apart and starts to palm me.

"I need you." He whispers against my skin.

"Please." I beg.

I'm already wet and ready for him. I hear a sharp intake of breath as he enters me. I close my eyes, relishing the fullness of him in me before he starts thrusting. I push my hips back at him, begging him for more. Our breathing is harsh and ragged. I can feel my body tense up as we both start panting. We come hard together, our bodies shaking.

I groan when he finally pulls out.

"I love you." He whispers in my ear as he pulls me close to him.

"I love you too." I tell him.

"You're back. I don't know what changed but you're back." He softly says as he kisses my shoulder.

My fingers trace the Pepsi logo tattoo as I smile dreamily.

"Thank you for never giving up on me." I tell him.

"Never." He presses his forehead into mine.


	14. Chapter 14: Engaged

I wake up feeling happier than I have felt in a long time.

I nuzzle Phil's chest as I feel his lips brush against my forehead.

"I could watch you sleep for hours." He murmurs.

"Almost afraid if I wake up fully, you'll disappear."

Phil chuckles. "Not a dream, my dear. Open your eyes."

The amount of love and adoration in Phil's eyes catches me both by surprise and makes me smile.

"That's the first time I've seen a smile reach your eyes in a long time." He says, brushing a few hairs from my face.

"Feels good." I purr as I nuzzle up to him.

"You don't know how much." Phil wraps his arms around me.

I press my ear into his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart beating.

The next few weeks pass by happily. On TV, I get my Intercontinental Championship back. Phil is still the WWE champion with Heyman and we've had several encounters that seems to excite the audience. My feud with Wade Barrett eventually transitions over to The Miz, which doesn't make me that happy but it's manageable. Eventually I get pulled back into the feud between CM Punk and John Cena.

A triple threat match is announced for the Survivor Series and I am made the special guest referee. Shortly after we get to the building, Phil and I get called into Stephanie's office.

"So your three friends from FCW are coming to Raw in a big way." She tells me.

"Oh yeah? What's the plan?" I excitedly ask.

"Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and Roman Reigns will be a group known as The Shield. They are going to attack Ryback at the end of the match tonight." She tells us.

Phil and I both exchange looks before we say anything. "That's interesting. What's the story?" Phil asks.

"The Shield will be a group better than anything we envisioned for The Nexus. They will be heels with the highest honor. They believe that they are babyfaces, working to rid the injustices in the WWE."

"You mean like the WWE Champion defending his title in a triple threat against two men he's already beaten, with his ex as the ref?" I suggest.

Stephanie's eyes light up. "Precisely!"

"Alright, I can dig that." I grin at her enthusiasm.

"You're going to be a...Shield believer. We're going to play that The Shield may or may not be working with CM Punk. Eventually that it is revealed that Heyman came to you as a liaison and you've been helping."

"So I'm not necessarily seen with them?"

"Not necessarily. We thought about officially putting you with them but we think they will work best as a three man group. If you are to be included, I feel like you should be an active member, not looking more or less like a manager for them."

I nod in agreement.

"But you'll have their back and they will have yours. It'll be an interesting winter." Her eyes shining brightly.

Phil strangely excuses himself as we leave her office. About ten minutes later, I hear my name over the loudspeaker to come out to ringside.

"What's going on?" I ask.

Up on stage is the band New Found Glory, a favorite of mine and friends with Phil's. A video of me and Phil begins to play over them on the video screen as they begin to play one of my favorite covers by them: The Glory of Love. Phil walks out on stage towards the end of the song and motions me over to him.

"You and I have been through hell and back over these last eight years. I love you with every fiber of my being. I promise you that through good times and bad, I will always place you about everything else. Make me the happiest man on this Earth." Phil drops down to one knee. "And say you'll marry me."

I burst out into tears as he holds up a ring box. "Yes! Yes, absolutely yes!" I cry.

Phil wraps his arms around me and swings me around. Phil kisses me then places the ring on my finger. It's only then that I notice that the entire locker room is now surrounding us.


	15. Chapter 15: Not by a long shot

"I'm so happy for you!" Tyler grabs me in a huge hug.

"Congratulations." All the air rushes out of my body as Joe picks me up for a big squeeze.

"Easy, fellas. I need her to walk down the aisle." Phil teases.

The only one that hasn't congratulated me yet is Jon, who is staring daggers at us now. Something dangerous lingers in his eyes before he looks away from me.

I swallow hard and look uncomfortably away from him. The hair on the back of my neck stands on its end. I don't have to look back over to know that he's glaring hard at me.

_This isn't going to be pretty. _I think to myself.

"I'm really happy for you, Tabby." Vince tells me as he gives me a hug.

"Thank you, sir." I can feel the blood pool to my cheeks.

"Alright, everyone. We can all have fun later. Right now, let's focus! We've got a pay-per-view to put on." Vince claps his hands together, ushering us back to the locker rooms.

The pay-per-view went off without a hitch, thankfully. The Shield attacks Ryback and John Cena right on cue. I lean back in the turnbuckle and smile as I watch my friends disseminate the big men.

"Look at Tabby! Is she...is she smiling?" I hear Michael Cole question on commentary.

"Yes she is! She's enjoying this!" Jerry Lawler exclaims.

I wave off the match and hand Punk his title. I raise his hand in victory after The Shield put Ryback through the announce table.

"Question is, are these three men working for CM Punk, Tabby Green, or both?" I hear Michael Cole ask.

I congratulate them as soon as we are all in the locker room.

"Awesome intensity out there, guys! Way to go." I offer them a high-five.

"This is going to be good. I feel it." Joe grins.

It takes me a good fifteen minutes to find Jon. When I found him, he is smoking a cigarette in an empty office. He has his feet propped up on the desk, leaning back far in the office chair. Papers and office supplies are littered all over the floor.

"Can we talk?" I ask.

"Shut the door behind you." He emotionlessly tells me.

"Jon, I'm sor-"

"Shut the fuck up, Kristina." He snaps.

He's still wearing his long black shirt but had the sleeves rolled all the way up. As soon as he finished his cigarette, he lights up another.

I'm not sure what I was expecting. Maybe for him to yell at me. But his eerie quiet is unsettling.

"Jon-"

"I said to shut the fuck up." He immediately cuts me off.

I stand leaning against the door frame, almost afraid to move or to say another word. His eyes are dark and glazed over.

"You are scaring me." My voice unwillingly shakes.

He removes his feet from the desk and rubs the cigarette out on the desk. He marches toward me, placing his hands on both sides of my body, pushing me hard into the door. He reeks of cigarettes and beer.

"Scaring you?" He sneers.

My eyes fill with fear as he is inches from my face.

"God damn it, Kris." He groans as he pulls away.

I slip down to my knees on the floor, burying my face in my hands.

"Why him? Why did you choose him?" Jon demands to know.

"Choose him? I had a choice?" I question.

He grabs me by the shoulders, forcing me to my feet. His hand wraps around my throat, knocking me into the wall.

"Fuck!" I barely manage to get out, trying to pull his hands from me.

"You chose him?" Jon questions again.

"He never tried to choke me." I spat out, fire replacing the fear in my eyes.

Jon lets go of my throat and punches the wall near my head.

"Fucking cunt."

He backs away and runs his fingers through his hair.

Against my instincts, I place a gentle hand on his arm. When he doesn't pull away, I wrap my arm around his chest.

He takes my arm and pulls me around, so that we are face to face again. Jon grabs me by the back of my neck and kisses me, harshly at first, then softer, growing more intense as it continues. My fingers wrap around his neck, kissing him back.

Against my wishes, my body responds to him. I can feel him getting hard, pressing into my hip.

He is the one who pulls away first, nipping at my bottom lip before doing so. We're both panting heavily.

"This isn't over between us. Not by a long shot." He tells me.


	16. Chapter 16: Backstage controntation

"Kris? Kris? Hello?" A tattooed hand appears in my field of vision.

"Huh?" I blink wildly, breaking my contact from the candle I had been staring at for the last fifteen minutes to look up at Phil.

"Babe? Where are you?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just tired. What were you saying?" I rub my eyes.

"Where have you been?" He watches me with curiosity.

"Thinking about Dad. He didn't sound too good earlier." I lie.

Phil seemed to buy it. "Maybe a trip to South Carolina will do you both some good?"

I nod, smiling graciously at him.

Truth is, some of the fog surrounding my memories is starting to lift, which is causing a lot of different plays on my emotions. Normally, I would talk to Phil about it but now that we're engaged...I look down at the beautiful ring on my left hand. I love Phil but if I'm being completely honest with myself, Jon has been in the back of my thoughts lately.

"Anyways, you were saying?" I smile sweetly at him.

"We need to decide on what we want to do." He says, pulling my chair closer to his so that we're touching.

"Right. Do we even really want to do a ceremony? Neither of us are exactly wedding material."

"Nonsense." Phil immediately dismisses the thought. "This will be the only wedding we will ever have. I refuse to simply go down to the courthouse."

"We should do it the morning before a pay-per-view then." I suggest. "That way our friends will already be there and we'll just invite a few family members."

"That's brilliant. Now we just have to chose when."

"Not before one of the big ones. We're always far too busy than time allows as it is."

"Fair point. Surely before Mania?"

I grin at him. "Anxious, are we?"

"I don't want to wait long to make you mine." He says, kissing my cheek.

"I am yours."I told him, rubbing my nose against his.

Something seem to waver in his eyes momentarily before he gives me a half smile.

"How about for Elimination Chamber?" Phil suggests.

"February? In New Orleans?" I think about that for a moment. "That sounds good."

"Wonderful." Phil leans over and kisses my forehead.

I wish I felt wonderful. I look over at this wonderful man who loves me and all I can think about is...fuck!

We leave Chicago and land in St. Louis for the show. Phil is reading a graphic novel on the flight and doesn't seem to notice my temperament. By the time I get to the arena, I'm practically spitting nails.

As soon as we put our bags down, I grab Jon and practically throw him into an empty room.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asks.

My reply comes as a punch to his jaw. Jon crumbles slightly, partly from the surprise of the blow. The second punch is harder and draws blood. The third time, he catches me and pushes me up against wall, pinning both my arms above my head.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" He demands.

I'm in no mood to talk. I headbutt him hard, causing him to curse and release my hands. I bring my knee swift to his chest until he's on the ground.

"Asshole." I spat.

To my surprise, I hear Jon start to laugh. He looks up at me as he wipes the blood from his mouth.

"I must have really gotten your panties in a bunch, sweetheart."

"Don't think for one second you have any effect on my panties." I lash out.

That just made him laugh more. "So you have been thinking of me."

I kick him hard in his ribs. Air wheezes out of him as he tries to hold his stomach. He catches my foot the second time and knocks me off my feet. I land next to him hard, air rushing out of my lungs.

"When are you going to learn, Kris? " He asks as I catch my breath.

My hands are over my heart, trying to calm my breathing. He covers my hands with his as he pulls himself up next to me, resting his head on top of our hands. He stares at me intently, his head leaning casually to the side.

"I shouldn't want this." I finally say.

"Why, because of him?" Jon looks at me with disgust.

"You have no idea what that man has done for me." I swallow hard.

"Yes, I do. And I respect him for it. I'm beyond grateful for CM Punk. But Kris, that's no reason to marry the man."

"He's a good man."

"And I'm not?"

"I didn't say that. This isn't about you."

Jon rolls eyes eyes but doesn't move from his position.

"He's a good man." I say again. "He loves me."

"And you? Do you love him like you love me?"

For some reason, the question catches me completely by surprise. When I'm not able to formulate my answer, Jon's smirk grows. He shifts his body so that he's lying completely next to me now. His hands moved away from my mine; one moved to my breast and the other down to my thigh. I know I should immediately stop him but I don't. He tugs on my nipple through my clothing as he rubs my thigh. I close my eyes temporarily, wishing I could get lost in his touch and feeling guilty about it.

His hand slips past the waist band of my jeans, teasing the front of my underwear.

"You lied earlier, didn't you?" He chuckles.

"Stop." I knock his hand away from my breast and try to scramble to my feet.

Jon held me down, grabbing my hand and positioning it over his crotch. I can feel his hardness straining against his jeans and almost automatically my breathing gets harsh.

"It's hard to believe you when you say stop." He whispers as a finger moves past my thin material and enters me.

I bite my lip as his fingers tantalize the most sensitive area on my body. Heat spreads rapidly throughout my body as his mouth covers mine. I can feel my clit start to swell from his movements, my body becoming a slave to his.

I can't help but kiss him back fiercely. I grip him through his jeans, eliciting a moan from him.

I only snap out of it when I hear the sound of my jeans coming undone.

"No, I can't." I forcefully say, pushing against him.

This time Jon moves away from me. I scurry away, wiping the tears from my face.

"I can't. I'm sorry." I groan.

"I know. It's my fault. I should have..." His voice drops off.

As soon as I collected myself, I rushed out of the room and straight into the shower.

I had just come out of the shower and had gotten changed when I heard the ruckus going on in the men's locker room.

By the time I had gotten there, most of the wrestlers already had them apart.

"What the hell is going on here?" I ask, stepping inbetween them.

Phil's face is already beginning to swell. Jon is holding his jaw, looking like he was getting ready to pounce on him any second.

"That's enough." I snap.

"He started it." Jon protests.

"I don't give a fuck. Knock this shit off. You're going to get all of us kicked off TV."

"Alright." Jon bitterly agreed. Tyler and Joe let go of him.

"Alright." Phil agreed.

"Well?" I cross my arms over my chest and look at Phil for an explanation as the crowd of wrestlers dispersed.

"You were acting funny and I figured it had something to do with him. I asked him about it when he came into the locker room a bit ago and he smarted off to me." Phil explains.

"I asked if you were jealous because I know your intended better than you in every sense." Jon goads.

Phil takes two angry steps towards Jon but I put my hands on his chest.

"Knock it off. I'm sick of your pissing contest. This ends now." I angrily shake my head at both of them.

Phil murmurs something similiar to an apology and slips his arm around my waist. Jon and I momentarily lock eyes before I leave the dressing area.


	17. Chapter 17: Revenge

On TV, the WWE Universe has been eating up the storyline that I am somehow aligned with The Shield, even if I haven't been engaging in their attacks. When pressed about it during an interview, I didn't give the scripted answer I was supposed to.

I lean over to Michael Cole, who was pressing me on the subject, and gave him a slight smile that made him nervous.

"The Shield call themselves the hounds of justice. If that's the case, then you can call me the head bitch!"

Michael looks at me, agape. For the first time I can remember, I have stunned him into silence.

We are set to do a backstage segment with Paul Heyman, officially confirming that The Shield have been working for the WWE Champion.

"I understand, trust me." Paul scrambles against my reluctance to assist. "I just need one more...favor from you, Tabby."

"Enough, Paul. My guys are not your mercenaries." I cross my arms over my chest.

"I think you'll like what I have to say." He coaxes.

"I know, I know. And I know how much you hate that your former paramour has gone onto bigger and better things since splitting with you."

"He's only my former because of you." My eyes shine with fire.

"What does it say when a man would choose me over his lover?"

I rear back to punch him but he casually grabs my fist.

"Now, now. None of that. As I said, this is going to be beneficial for us all."

"What do you want, Paul?" I snap.

"As you know, I have elicited the assistance of referee Brad Maddox and, well, he's been insisting on more money or he's going to turn me in to CM Punk and I just can't have that."

"You want my help to keep your filthy hands clean?" I look at him in disgust.

"I know you aren't particularly fond of Mr. Maddox. Think of this as fun for you and your men as well as adding a little to your pockets."

I look over at the three men standing behind me, whom were rubbing their hands together enthusiastically.

"Alright, Paul, but this is it. We'll do this because we want to, not because of you or Punk. Don't call upon our services again."

I watch Jon after our segment was over.

"What are you staring at?" He roughly asks me.

"You look miserable." I note.

"What's it to you?" He gives me a callous look over his shoulder.

"Don't be like that."

I place my hand gently on his shoulder, which he immediately knocks away.

"You made your bed. Now you'll lie in it." He tells me.

I sigh but I don't flinch or move away from him.

"God damn, Kris. I'll put your head through the wall."

"What something better than that?" I ask.

"What?" He snaps.

"Do you want something that will make you feel better?" I ask.

"Don't think that exists." He says as he plucks a cigarette from his pack.

"Wanna bet?"

He finally looks at me directly. I'm biting my bottom lip, which catches his attention.

"Well?" He prompts.

"You never slept with Lita. She drugged you." I tell him.

Jon's entire body tightens up. He quickly goes from shock, to vindication, to angry. I wiggle a little as his lips press into a thin line.

"Want to have some fun?" I ask.

"Oh yes." Jon grabs my hand and we head out.

We head straight for the women's locker room. I motion for the girls to be quiet and sent them out of the area. Lita is alone in the big athletic shower.

Jon and I crept quietly into the shower. I lean against the wall, just out of her line of vision, as Jon grabs her and knocks her into the tiles. She spins around and his hand is around her throat.

"Well hello there." He cooly says.

Lita's eyes grow wide with fear as the hot water cascades down over us.

"I hear you like to play games. Mess with people's memory. You wouldn't like it if I slammed your head through the title, making you forget yourself, would you?" He says through grit teeth.

I smirk as I watch him frighten her. She tries to pull at his hands, the water making her slip, but Jon's hands hold her up.

"What do you say, Lita? Shall I call my guy off?" I cheerfully ask.

She quickly nods, smacking against Jon's strong arm.

"You ever mess with me or anything that's mine again, a lot more is going to happen. Do you understand?" I smile at her but there is no joy in it.

She nods quickly again.

"Alright, Jon." I say, placing a hand on his arm.

He regards me for a moment before letting her go. Lita tries to scramble out of the shower, slipping and falling twice before she manages to get out.

Jon and I laugh as we watch her go.

"She's not going to bother either of us again." He says as he wraps an arm my waist.

"Feel better?" I asked.

Jon brushed a few wet hairs from my face.

"You can say that." His voice is low as he studies my bottom lip.

I bite it reflexively. My pulse is quickening as his fingers lightly brush my wet skin. All thought escapes me as I gaze intently into his eyes. Jon leans down so now he's mere inches from my lips.

"Kris? Are you still in here?" I hear AJ call.

"Yeah." I answer.

"Punk is looking for you." She tells me.

"You should get back to him then." Jon backs away.

"Holy hell." I reach over and kill the water stream.


	18. Chapter 18: Pool party

"Cannonball!" Colt shouts as he runs past me, jumping into the pool.

I giggle at my silly friend as he comes up, spitting water like a fountain.

Phil and I are three weeks away from our wedding. We had changed the date from February to May mainly due to our schedules not allowing us to plan much in the short amount of time. Today is our engagement party at our home.

"Hey you." Phil wraps a tattooed arm around my waist from behind, nuzzling my neck.

"Hi." I lean against him.

I estimate that more than half of the locker room is in our backyard right now.

"Happy, love?" Phil whispers in my ear.

"Ridiculously." I say.

And it's the truth. Postponing the wedding seemed to help us both. I seriously can't remember a time when I have ever been happier with him, and not do to the blank spots in my memory that still linger. I rub Phil's hands as I sigh contently.

"Punk, care to give me a hand?" Cena calls from the grill.

"Don't be too long." I tell him as he slips away.

I give a playful smack on his ass as he walks over to the grill. Phil shakes his head at me before turning his attention to Cena. I walk back inside to an empty kitchen to get more paper plates.

"You certainly look happy." I hear Jon from behind me.

"I am." I give him a sly smile.

"I really am happy for you, if this is what you want." He sounds sincere so I nod.

"Thank you." I say as I unwrap the plates.

Jon leans against the cabinets, watching me as he tucks a cigarette behind his ear.

"I've done well, wouldn't you say? I haven't made a play on you, I've kept my distance."

"Yep, you have." I cautiously say, not sure where he is going with it.

"I thought I could do it, you know. Just be your friend, watch you as you walk down the aisle or whatever the hell you plan on doing."

He slides down the cabinet closer to me.

"It's clear how much you care about him. It's clear to me that you could marry him and be happy for the rest of your life."

Jon lightly fingers my bikini strap that has slipped down from my shoulder. I brush his fingers aside and pull up my strap, adjusting the dress I'm wearing as a cover up.

"If it's clear to you, then what are you doing here?" I ask.

"What am I doing?" He asks, his voice low and husky.

His runs the back of his hand down the length of my arm. The simple act sends chills down my spine.

"You're touching me." I pull away.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He mimics the same stroking motion on my other arm.

I tilt my head away from him, mistakenly giving him access to my neck. He sniffs my skin, closing his eyes as he inhales me. My pulse quickens now as I can feel his breath on me.

"You are driving me crazy wearing that dress." He whispers.

I have to bite my lip to keep a moan from escaping. Fuck. He's not even touching me and I'm already hot with need.

"I want nothing more than to lift up your skirt and bury my face in you."

His scent is intoxicating. He slides his hand under the hem of my skirt, gently caressing my thighs. Our breathing starts getting shallow as we're teetering on the edge of dangerous.

He moves his hand from my thigh to my lips, tugging it free from my teeth. I swallow hard as our eyes lock.

"He's safe, sweetheart. I know you could marry him and be...content. I'm offer you something beyond satisfied. You are going to have to make a choice. Don't think for a moment just because you wear his ring that you have made yours."

"Hey! Where are those plates?" I hear Phil call from outside.

"C-coming." My face turns bright red.

"Hurry up, we've got hungry people out here."


	19. Chapter 19

"Excuse me." I brush passed Jon, keeping my tone even.

I hear him chuckle slightly. I take a step back and stomp on his foot. I know there is no force behind my stomp, me being barefoot and him in sneakers, but he gets the point. This act only makes him chuckle more.

"You really hate it when I get under your skin. Is it because, deep down, you know I'm right?" I hear him ask.

I pause momentarily before heading into the backyard.

"You okay?" Phil asks me as he takes the paper plates.

"Oh yeah." I shrug. "Just had a conversation with Jon."

Phil's eyes narrow. "What did he say?"

"Nothing really. Just Jon being Jon." I smile. "It's no big."

"Alright." Phil puts an arm around my waist and lightly kisses my temple.

I give Phil a playful slap on the ass, which seems to lift his mood.

A little while later, I'm lounging in a beach chair when Tyler sits down next to me.

"I know it's not my place, but I feel like you should know something." He begins.

'What's up?" I ask as I take my sunglasses off.

"Jon hasn't been with anyone else since you."

"What?" This has completely taken me by surprise.

"It's true. Joe and I hang out with him pretty much all the time. We travel together, go to the gym together, train, watch wrestling, you name it. He hasn't been with a woman the entire time."

"Ty, why are you telling me this?"

"He's waiting for you."

"Get out." I lean back in my chair.

"I'm serious."

"Ty, I'm getting married. In three weeks."

"I'm aware. I just think you should know."

I glance over at Jon, who is staring at me. He's leaning against the fence with a cigarette in one hand, the other is gripping his belt. Kaitlyn is chatting away at him but he barely seems to notice. Poor Kaitlyn.

The look in Jon's eyes sends chills down my back. It's one of pure hunger, desire, and intensity. I have to look away.

"So, I see you brought my former nurse." I change the subject, glancing at the skinny girl talking with Joe.

Tyler blushed. "Yeah. Cathy and I have been seeing each other quietly for a few months."

"Good for you." I slap him playfully on his shoulder.

Tyler smiles as he brushes back some of his long black hair. Suddenly the look in his eyes changes.

"You two seem to be dancing around each other. Granted, you're happy with Punk and we're all happy for you. It's...it's just that something seems off between you and Punk."

"Tyler, don't presume." I shake my head at him.

"You're one of my dearest friends, Kris. I love you. You're the only sister I have."

I reach over and grab his hands, giving a gentle squeeze. "Love you too, buddy."

"Kris! What are you doing here? You've got to do some karaoke!" AJ bounces over.

"No, I don't think so."

My protest falls on death ears. AJ and Tyler grab my arms and stand me up. Tyler practically carries me over to the karaoke machine that is set up outside.

"Alright, alright." I finally shake him off.

I take a deep breath and begin to sing one of my favorite Lifehouse songs.

This is a night  
Like none before  
I knew it when you opened up the door  
With a look to paint the sky  
Let me read between the lines in your eyes  
Tonight

It's the event  
We dreamed about  
Where we whispered all the words they're shouting out  
And now it's one two three four  
Tonight

I'm with you when the lights go down  
Take my hand I'm all yours now  
I know you're the only one  
That would never lead me on  
I'm with you when the lights go down  
Cuz you're the one and  
Only you're the one and...

The only one  
Who keeps it here  
In each moment as the voices disappear  
The audience stands  
The band begins  
And it's one two three four  
Tonight

I'm with you when the lights go down  
Take my hand I'm all yours now  
I know you're the only one  
That would never lead me on  
I'm with you when the lights go down  
Take my hand I'm all yours now  
Cuz you're the one and...

Only you're the one  
Only you're the one

I'm with you when the lights go down  
Take my hand I'm all yours now  
I know you're the only one  
That would never lead me on  
I'm with you when the lights go down  
Take my hand I'm all yours now  
You're the one and  
Only you're the one and...

You're the one and…  
Only you're the one and...

Everyone starts clapping and cheering as I finish. I look over at Phil, who is now standing to my right. Jon starts approaching me to the left.

_Oh_ _God_. I think to myself.

Joe must have seen it coming and decided to intervene. Before Jon reaches me, Joe and Tyler pick me up.

"Into the pool!" Joe exclaims, grabbing my arms.

Tyler grabs my legs and the two of them start swinging me.

"Don't you dare!" I yell.

I can see them laughing as my head goes under the water.


	20. Chapter 20: After Party

"What's gotten into you? Time off the road suits you." I snuggle up to Phil.

Phil practically jumped on me the moment the last guest left the engagement party. The fervor behind his kiss was enough to take my breath away. It wasn't lovemaking. It was ravenous, insatiable sex that we hadn't had in a while. I curl up to him, sweat still gleaming over our naked bodies, as I try to catch my breath.

"I'm sorry, love. I have been feeling a bit beaten down lately." He says, kissing my forehead.

"When do you think you'll come back to TV?" I ask.

Phil has been off the road since Wrestlemania. With how hard our daily schedules are, he hasn't had time to really rehab an elbow injury he has been working through.

"Money in the Bank is in Chicago. I'll be there for that." He tells me.

"So I'll have this to look forward to every night I'm home?" I tease.

"Give me fifteen minutes and you'll have it again." He kisses my cheek.

I giggle as he strokes my hair.

"That really is the best sound in the world. Well, one of the best."

"What?"

"Your giggle."

"It was a great party today." I nuzzle his neck.

"Certainly was." He absentmindedly says as he strokes my arm.

"Babe, is something bothering you?" I ask.

The arm stroking stops. "What?"

"You just seem...I dunno. Out of sorts, maybe?"

"Just thinking about a few things."

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Right now, I'm thinking about making your toes curl." He said, full of zeal.

He rolls me onto my back and starts kissing my neck. His hands trail down, grasping my breasts. I moan as his fingers work deftly on my nipple. I murmur his name and grab a tuft of his hair as he sucks hard on my nipple. His hands roam luxuriously down my body, teasing the soft flesh. My hips buck at him with need.

"All in due time, love." He smirks at me as he starts trailing kisses from my breasts, down to my belly button, to my inner thighs.

I feel like I'm going to come off the bed as his tongue starts to lick me. My clit is swollen and throbbing as he continues.

"Please, baby." I moan.

I don't have to ask again. I feel the head of his erection knock into me once before he's inside me. Phil buries his face in my breasts as he lunges into me. Our breathing becomes rapid, sweat gleaming over both of our bodies as we continue to push against each other. I nearly come undone when Phil bites my nipple mid-thrust.

Our bodies mold together as we keep climbing higher and higher. I hold onto him as my body tenses up then finds its release. Phil's comes moments later.

As we lay there together, intertwined and basking in our glow, I can't help but giggle.

"What?" Phil props himself up on an elbow.

"You accomplished your goal: making my toes curl."


	21. Chapter 21: Raw segment

Even though Phil wasn't on TV, we've been making veiled references to our characters getting back together. Finally, today we were going to admit it to set up for when he returns. Since the writers have also been giving veiled references to a relationship with Dean Ambrose, that meant that we would have a backstage segment on Raw.

Jon and I haven't talked since the engagement party last week. Now, it's one week before my wedding and I feel like I need to clear the air before we go live. I pull up a chair next to him in the locker room and sigh.

"Do you know why my name is Tabby Green?" I ask.

Jon looks at me confused before shaking his head.

"Vince gave me the name. I don't think he ever once referred to me by my real name. That is, until the hospital. He said that he knew a girl from his childhood that I reminded him of. He told me once that I had her spirit. Life has never been easy for me. And you know something...it probably should have. I mean, I come from a loving home. My parents never fought. I was never abused. They both made good money. I did well in school. But I've had to fight for everything in my life. You fight, you scratch, you claw. Just to get through to tomorrow and pray that it will get better. But praying alone doesn't do it. Vince told me that I was the only female in the locker room that looked like she could handle herself in a fight against grown, powerful men. He said that I had his friend's fighting spirit. Only she never quite made it. Her name was Gabby Verde."

"So you became Tabby Green."

I nod. "In honor of her. I don't think Vince realized that my last name is actually Green until a little bit later."

"Kris, what's the point here?"

"I'm a fighter. I've always been a survivor. I fight with sex and I fight with my fists. It's what I know. I know you understand this because you are the same way. And maybe...maybe that's why we are the way we are around each other. But I can't keep on like this with you. I'm marrying Phil next week."

Pain registers in his eyes at my words. He looks away from me and cracks his knuckles.

"You really are going to go through with it." He slowly says in an unrecognizable tone.

"Yeah, Jon. I am. I'm sorry."

I reach for his hand but he pulls away. "I get it. It'll hurt but I'll deal. I'm a survivor too. The show must go on."

He kicks the chair away and heads out of the locker room.

"It's not over, is it?" I hear Tyler say behind me in an uncharacteristically small voice.

"I have no idea."

I didn't know what to expect when it came to film our backstage segment. Thankfully, I would be starting with Paul Heyman.

"Tabby, I need your help." Paul begs.

"What's up?" I nonchalantly ask.

"I know that you and I have our differences but I need to ask you for something. Have you talked to CM Punk lately?"

"Of course." I smile. "Why, haven't you?"

"I've left a dozen messages which he hasn't returned."

"Oh, that's too bad." I fake pout.

My phone starts buzzing in my pocket.

"Oh, look here." I smile, holding up my phone. "Speak of the devil. Hey babe." I greet. "Paul and I were just talking about you."

"Give me the phone." Paul extends his hand.

I sigh. "Hold on, babe." I hand the phone over to him.

"Listen, Punk-" Paul starts but gets immediately cut off. "Uh huh. I see. Okay then."

Paul then hands the phone back to me, glaring hard. "He says he doesn't want to talk to me. He only wants to talk to you."

"That's too bad, Paul."

"Just...give him a message. Please?"

"It's killing you to have to go through me to talk to someone you claim to be your best friend. Alright, go ahead." I shrug.

"Tell him I'm sorry for not supporting him after his match with the Undertaker. Tell him...tell him that I want him to come back and we'll recapture what we lost. Tell him that he can be best in the world again."

"Paul, I'll tell him just that. I'll tell him that in your eyes, he's no longer the best in the world. I'll tell him that you are taking part of the credit for him being champion for over a year. And that you send your warmest regards on his speedy recovery."

For once, Paul Heyman is at a loss for words. He just stands there for a moment, agape, before finally storming off.

"What a tool." I roll my eyes.

"Hey, we're glad we found you." Roman sits down across from me.

"Oh goody, more visitors." I sarcastically say. "What can I do for you?"

"You're wrestling Sheamus tonight, right?" Seth asks.

"Yeah, coming up in a bit. Why?"

"Do you want us ringside?" Dean asks.

I laugh. "I think I can handle Sheamus."

"Possibly. But you know that Ryback has pretty much tilted his hand when he said earlier that he was going to use you to get to us." Seth points out.

"Which of course brings out Chris Jericho. Yeah, I get it. Maybe it's not such a bad idea having you three in the wings, watching my back tonight." I concede.

Seth and Roman turn to leave but Dean is still staring at me.

"Can I help you, Ambrose?"

"So, you're back with Punk now?" He slowly asks.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am."

He looks beyond menacing right now. Both hands are gripping his belt tightly, causing the muscles in his arms flex. His face is hard, lips pressed into a thin line. I look at him undaunted.

"You got a problem with who I date, Dean? Since when?"

"Didn't say I had a problem that it's Punk."

"Oh, just the fact that I'm dating someone, then? God." I scoff. "Let's recap, shall we? You and I had an amazing summer leading through the fall. Then in November, I help you three make your mark at Survivor Series. You tell me that we shouldn't see each other anymore, that you needed to focus on The Shield and righting the wrongs that occur daily around here. See, I understood that. It hurt but I understood that. I understand putting the needs of other ahead of your own. I couldn't be a distraction for you. I wasn't about to hold you or Seth and Roman back. So I agreed when you said that it was over between us."

"I feel like we made the right call then."

"But not now. Are you saying something has changed in that regard?"

"I wish it was different."

"So nothing has changed. So you have a problem with me dating but aren't offering me other solutions. So, I was supposed to wait for The Shield to run its course?"

"I never said that."

"Punk and I love each other. We're getting married, Dean."

A little voice in the back of my mind wonders if I should have said that on live TV. But the words are out there now, can't do anything about it.

When Dean doesn't answer, I say another stupid thing to antagonize him.

"So you're the boy that is jealous when someone else picks up a toy that he was done playing with."

That did it. Dean advances towards me, knocking me into the wall. He plants his hands flat against the wall next to my head. The fire in his eyes causes me to hold my breath. For the moment, I forget that there is a camera on us.

"You are not a toy." He says as he presses his forehead into mine.

"Okay." I tell him, searching his eyes.

Dean gently strokes my cheek for a moment before he backs off.

"Okay." Is the only thing I can think so say as I nod.

"Hey." I say as he places a hand on the doorknob.

His eyes swing up to me, storm of mixed emotions.

"Can you give me a real reason why I shouldn't marry him."

I hold my breath, waiting for the answer.

"No, Tabby, I can't."


	22. Chapter 22: It's over

I couldn't wait to get home. I took the first flight out after the house show on Tuesday. Two days with Phil to finish up the wedding planning and we were in the home stretch.

Normally when I get home, I'm greeted at the door or he's already begun cooking dinner. Instead, the house is eerily quite.

"Phil?" I call out but get no answer.

I find him in the family room, no lights on except for the TV.

"Babe, what's going on?" I ask.

Phil doesn't look away from the TV screen. My heart sinks into my stomach. Something's wrong.

"Babe, what are-" My eyes float to the TV and stop dead.

Phil is rewatching Raw.

I sink down on the couch as he is rewinding my backstage segment with Jon. Just Jon.

"Do you know how many times I have watched this?" He asks, still not looking over at me.

"I..I don't. What's going on?"

"I've actually lost count myself. Enough to the point where I see every muscle tick, every inflection of his eyes as you are talking to him."

"Honey, this is just a scripted segment."

"How scripted?"

Okay...so maybe our words weren't actually scripted...

"The writers wanted us to convey that Dean and Tabby were in a relationship in the past before the Shield showed up. They wanted us to tease tension so that I wouldn't always be associated with them."

"How much was scripted, Kris?" He asks again.

"Our words weren't." I admit.

Phil grips the remote tightly and closes his eyes.

"I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?" I quickly replay the segment over in my head.

"No, you didn't. You were great, actually. Probably shouldn't have said we were getting married but that's alright."

"Then, why-"

"Right here." Phil pauses the DVR.

The camera caught the look in Jon's eyes when he said I wasn't a toy. You can see a little bit of my face in it too. The look of heartbreak and longing is evident in Jon's eyes. It's plain on my face how overcome I am.

"You and I shouldn't get married." Phil says.

"What?" I leap off the couch. "You've got to be kidding me."

"No, I'm not. It's something that's actually been on my mind lately." He admits.

Tears spring up to my eyes and I quickly brush them away.

"I don't understand."

"I just don't think you and I are right for each other."

"No! No no no no. Phil, this is just cold feet. Cold feet, babe." I implore.

"I thought so at first too. But the more I think about it, the less sense it makes."

"I don't understand." I repeat.

"You're beautiful." Phil grabs my hand and pulls me to the couch. "You're one of the sweetest people I've ever met. You have such a beautiful heart. You're strong, determined, funny. You get my jokes. I don't have a doubt in my mind that I couldn't do better because there is no better than you. I know you and I could get married next week and live long, happy lives side by side with each other without any regrets. And you want to know why?"

"Because we love each other." I reply.

"Of course we do. We're best friends. And that's my point."

"Phil..."

"I look at you and think that I'm the luckiest guy in the world because you're my best friend and we'll always be by each other's side. I don't think that you are the love of my life though."

The air rushes out of my lungs as I feel the color drain from my face. I have to grab my head as the room starts to spin.

"We take care of each other, don't we? We fix each other when we're broken. We're generally happy, content people together." Phil says.

"What's wrong with that?" I practically explode at the question.

"Sweetheart, nothing. You would have gladly given your life for me. And I would have gladly taken it. But it's not right. There's always something not quite right about it. Isn't that why we've broken up so many times before?"

"But we've always come back together." I point out.

"We've always found what we needed in each other, Kris. Until now."

"Damn it, no!" I yell. "Phil, damn it. Stop. Stop right now before you say something that you can't take back."

"I'm sorry if this hurts. I love you, Kris. I do. But at the end of the day, we're just not right in that aspect. You've found what you are looking for. It's not me. A part of me wishes it was, trust me. But it's him. It's always been him. It's time that I find what I'm looking for too. And it's not here with you."

Tears are falling so fast that I can't see clearly. My chest hurts from sobbing hard, having difficulty catching my breath. Phil wraps an arm around me and for a moment, I allow myself to lean against him. I want to believe in this moment that he's going to realize what he's saying. He's going to come to his senses in any moment. But that moment never comes.

"I think...I think I'm going to go." I say, moving away from him.

"No, you stay. I'll go." He offers.

"My bags are already packed. It's your house. I'll go."

With a heavy heart, I head towards the door. I pause, looking over my shoulder.

"If I leave, we can't come back here." I tell him.

"I know." He's crying now, just as hard as I am.

"I really...I really wanted to marry you next week."

"I know."

I slip off my engagement ring, give it a quick kiss, then place it on the table.

"Goodbye." I whisper.

The door gently closes behind me. It's over. It's really over.


	23. Chapter 23

"What do you want to do? Horror movie marathon?" Tyler asks.

"No." I despondently say.

Word had gotten out quickly that Phil called off the wedding. Without missing a beat, Tyler caught a flight to Chicago and came to the hotel I had checked myself into. Tyler, bless his heart, has been trying to comfort me but I haven't been letting him.

"Isn't that what you normally do? Ice cream and a horror marathon?"

"It's what I do with Phil." I tell him.

"Ah. So what do you want to do?"

"Curl up into a ball and die."

I throw the hotel comforter over my head. Tyler digs until he finds me and pulls me out.

"None of that." He chides.

"Colby, my fiance just dumped me. I think I'm entitled." I snap.

"Oh, we're busting out real names now. Alright, Kristina. Have it your way."

I don't even look in his direction as I hear the door close behind him. It's fine. I wanted time alone. I'll call him in a few days to apologize.

Phil has called me many times but I don't answer. He knows what hotel I'm at. If he really wanted to talk, he would do it in person. I cry until I feel hollow inside. I cry until there are no tears left in me, only bitter, painful sobs.

Time loses meaning. What has meaning anymore? I can't even be sure.

I yell at the hotel staff who attempt to come in to clean and to check up on me. Everything is pretty much spotless in the room anyway, save for the bed.

I actually cry so hard that I throw up. I manage to get a little sleep after that.

"I said leave me alone!" I yell when I hear the door open again.

I let out a sigh of relief when I hear the door close again.

A strong hand reaches under the covers and pulls back, sending the sheets flying onto the floor. I bolt up, both in shock and fury.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I ask.

"Punk called me. Said you weren't answering your phone. And then Seth was going off about you. Figured I would stop by." Jon explains.

"How did you get in here?" I demand.

"You've apparently been yelling at the hotel staff and haven't come out of your room for three days. They were eager to send someone in here. All I had to do was ask."

Three days? Fuck. I grumble something unintelligent and reach down for the sheets.

"No, no you don't. You aren't hiding anymore, Kris."

"Go the fuck away! I don't want you or anyone else here." I shove against his chest.

"Good. Fire up. Fight me." Jon pushes me back.

"You know what happened?" I ask.

Jon nods. "The entire locker room knows."

"Then leave me in peace." I lay back down on the bed.

I feel the movement on the bed as Jon crawls to the other side. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I'm sorry, was I supposed to go running to you?" I flatly say.

"Jesus Christ, Kris." He grits his teeth.

"You got what you wanted. I'm not getting married. You've seen me. I'm alive. I'm not cutting myself or doing anything stupid. I just want to be left alone."

"You haven't showered in days. When's the last time you've eaten?"

"Catering on Tuesday." I respond after a few moments.

"Christ. Get up." Jon orders.

"Fuck you." I bitterly say.

"Don't want to get up on your own accord? Fine." Jon sends me flying out of bed with a kick.

I hit the floor hard. "Ow. Asshole."

"I gave you the option to do it yourself."

I hear his knuckles crack as he positions himself over me. Jon forces me to my feet and sits me down in a chair.

"What are you doing?" I ask as he heads into the bathroom.

He comes out with a brush in one hand and a wet washcloth in the other.

"Hold still." He orders as he begins washing my face.

"I don't need you to do that." I pull away from him.

"If you're going to act like a child, I'm going to treat you like one." He says as he starts brushing the knots out of my hair.

I wince as he brushes my hair hard but don't complain. After he's put my long blonde hair into a pony tail, he stands me up.

"Are you going to walk out of here on your own power or do I need to carry you?" He eyes me.

"I'll walk, thank you." I try to sound dignified.

Jon takes me to a nearby diner and orders breakfast for us.

"I'm not really hungry." I tell him.

"You haven't eaten in three days. You may not know it because you aren't allowing yourself to feel anything but pain. Your body needs food, Kris."

"Thank you." I say after a minute.

"You've got a lot of us worried. Well, except for Seth."

"Poor Seth. I feel bad."

"You should. You can call him after you've got food in you."

The waitress places a pot of coffee along with our food order in front of us. My mouth waters as the aroma of the bacon and pancakes fills my nostrils.

"And a side of cherries for the lady." He orders.

"You remember." I raise my eyebrows.

"Sweetheart, unlike you, I remember everything."

Jon chuckles as I flush at the comment. "It's not your fault."

"I know. And actually my memory has been getting better." I tell him.

The waitress brings me fresh cherries, which I happily spread over my pancakes. I practically inhale the food in front of me. Jon smirks over his coffee cup as I nearly lick the plate clean.

"We can get you more, it's okay." He muses.

"I'm good. Can't overeat or I'll get sick."

I sip my coffee as I let my food settle.

"Feeling better?" Jon asks. I nod. "Then let's get out of here."

"Thank you." I tell him again once we're back in my room.

"Tell me what happened."

"He, uh. He really watched our backstage segment from Raw. Seemed to clear something up for him. Apparently he's been thinking about this for a while now. I think...I think looking back, he started to at the engagement party."

"I know you don't believe me, but I really am sorry." He softly tells me.

"I believe you." I pat his knee. "Anyways, I get home and he starts just...talking. How he's lucky that he gets to spend the rest of his life with his best friend by his side. Not love. I'm not the love of his life, apparently. Just...the best friend."

"Ouch." Jon winces.

"Yeah. We could have gotten married in, what, five days, and been perfectly...content."

I jump away from the bed and start pacing. "It's just...grr!" I give a frustrated yell. "I'm so fucking pissed off right now!"

"Let it out." Jon tells me from the bed.

I continue my pacing. "Such fucking bullshit! I thought...I thought that this was it for us. I had no fucking clue how right I was about that!"

Jon continues to let me rant and pace.

"And he's all 'Sorry, I'm sorry. I love you and we'll always be in each other's lives but this isn't right.' then maybe you should have thought of that before you slipped a ring on my finger."

"Keep going." Jon encourages.

"Granted, I haven't been an angel. I'm no saint. But this...one week away. Don't you think you should have figured it out sooner? I'm so mad right now. I need to punch something. I need to hit something so hard that it feels as bad as I do."

Jon gets up from the bed and places his hands on my shoulders, stopping my pacing. I shove his hands off.

"Don't start with me, Jon." I warn.

"Let go." He softly said.

A low growl bubbles up from deep in my chest. I reared back and slap him as hard as I can. I'm fuming as he holds his cheek.

"Feel any better?" He asks, his tone even.

"A bit."

"Hit me again." He tells me.

I didn't need a second invitation. The second blow came as a punch square in the jaw. Jon's knee buckled slightly from the force. This time I did see a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth.

Jon casually wipes the blood away as he stands back up straight. He leans his head from side to side, letting out a small little pop. One last punch sends spasms up my arm.

"Better now?" He asks.

"Yes." I admit, feeling drained.

"Anyone ever tell you that you punch harder than Orton?" He teases.

I can't help but smirk. Jon grabs my hands and gently pulls me over to the bed. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and I curl up next to him, snuggling my face into his neck. Jon held me, quietly stroking my back.

"You haven't slept, have you?" He asks.

"Not really." I admit.

Jon rolls backwards, taking me with him. I start to protest, but he gives me a closed-mouth kiss and lays me down. I hear the ruffle of the bedsheets before being covered. He crawls underneath the covers, pulling me tight. His chest is pressed into my back as he strokes my hair.

"I've got you. You're safe." He whispers into my ear.

I only vaguely murmur something at him as I drift to sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

I wake up feeling as rested as I have felt in a long time. My muscles protest as I stretch. I must have been asleep for a long time. I look over to see Jon sleeping peacefully next to me. It occurs to me that this is the first time I've really watched him sleep. He's usually awake before me. I smile softly, resisting the urge to touch the curls framing his face. He looks so happy, so carefree right now. I slowly settle back down next to him. My hand falls to the pillow, lying next to his. I feel like I could literally watch him for hours.

Jon slowly stirred, his eyes fluttering open.

"Hi." I warmly greet.

"Hi." He gives me a half smile.

I exhale contently. That smile always has an affect on me.

I lean over after a beat, planting a simple kiss on his lips. He reflexively pulls away.

"What are you doing?" He eyes me.

"You looked absolutely beautiful sleeping. I just got caught up, I guess." I say, feeling embarrassed.

"Nothing to be sorry for, love. Do you feel like talking?"

I groan. "Kind of. Not really. Yes."

John chuckles. "Alright then, now that we've got that settled."

"I feel like I should be more hurt than I am. I'm more mad than anything else."

"Because you know that deep down, Punk was right. You weren't right for each other."

"He's my best friend. Always will be, I guess."

"You sound sad."

"It does hurt. I'm sad over quite a few things. Maybe not as much as I should be. I want to apologize specifically to you."

"To me?"

"I know I've hurt you pretty badly these last few months."

"You know what you need? A shower." Jon says as he kicks back the covers.

"What?" I watch him as he leaves the bed and heads into the shower.

The shirt he was wearing gets tossed into the room as I hear the shower turn on.

"If you don't come in here, I'm coming out after you." Jon calls from the bathroom.

I sigh. He'd do it too. I get undressed on my own accord and join him. I close my eyes as the hot spray hits my face. Jon pulls my hair from the ponytail and begins to wash my hair. I would fuss at him if it didn't feel his fingers on my scalp didn't feel so damn good right now. I pour body wash into my hands and work it into a lather.

We take turns, soaping each other up until we're both clean. Jon's fingers stroke my jawline.

"What are you thinking right now?" He asks, his voice low and sexy.

Something deep inside me seemed to stir as I gaze up at him. The darkness that seemed to surround certain parts of my memory lifted.

"What I'm thinking is that it's been too long since you danced around my room wearing tight jeans and a cowboy hat." I grin.

His eyes light up. "You remember?"

"I remember."

Jon gleefully wraps his arms around me, hugging me tightly. I hungrily kiss him, which he happily responds. His fingers tug on my wet hair as his tongue enters my mouth. I practically melt into him. I reach down and start stroking his already hard dick, happy when he moans into me.

I jump up, wrapping my legs around his waist as he pins me to the shower wall. We both gasp as he enters me.

I know that this is going to be quick and don't care. I bounce onto him as he pounds me into the wall. He explodes, pulling out and spilling onto the floor.

I slowly unwrap my legs from him, only moving to turn off the shower water, which is now cold.

"I love you." He whispers into my neck.

"I love you, too. Now let me show you how." I say, stepping out of the shower.

Jon practically pounces me onto the bed. His mouth hungrily starts sucking on my nipples, pulling and teasing. My fingers run through his hair, encouraging the flicks of his tongue. A trail of kisses down my abdomen leads Jon to start using his mouth on my lower half. I moan his name as he works his magic.

I start gripping the sheets as he inserts a finger in me, moving in a circular fashion before going side to side. I begin to throb beneath his tongue.

"God, I've missed you." He moans into my thighs.

My body starts to tense as continues, getting more and more intense. Finally, I come around his mouth, shivers going up and down my body. I barely have time to calm down as he thrusts inside of me. I lift my hips to meet him, thrust for thrust. We find our release together, crying out simultaneously.

Once our bodies come down, we lay curled up in each other's arms.

"You're back. You're really back." He looks at me in awe and adoration.

"I'm not leaving again." I assure him.


	25. Chapter 25

"Oh HELL YEAH!" I hear Tyler exclaim from across the locker room as Jon and I enter together.

"Guess he's not mad." Jon leans down and whispers in my ear.

Tyler practically leap frogs over Zach Ryder as he rushes over to us. He launches himself at me. I catch him with finesse. He laughs as he wraps his legs around my waist and hugs me.

"No dives in the locker room, Rollins." We hear Triple H tease.

"Hey, she caught me." Tyler calls back over.

"Thankfully. She should have let you bust your ass. I would have." Triple H responds.

"Hey, buddy." I laugh as Tyler gets off of me.

"This is for real?" Tyler eagerly sweeps his eyes from me over to Jon.

In response, Jon wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses my temple.

"No wonder you haven't been returning my calls." Tyler says with a grin.

"Ty, I'm so sorry for how I reacted." I apologize.

"Don't think anything of it." He waves me off.

"Congrats, you two." Joe says as he joins us.

"Thanks, big man." I grin up at him.

"It's better that it worked out this way. Seth and I were thinking of interrupting the wedding." Joe tells me.

"You're kidding." I make a face.

"I was too." Jon honestly says.

"Seriously? What happened to letting me make my own decisions?" I look over at them.

"If you had walked down that aisle, it would have been the wrong one. We weren't going to let you make that mistake." Joe replies.

"I'm surprised that you honestly thought I would just let you marry Punk." Jon smirks as he shakes his head.

"Well, now, y'all are just ganging up on me." I say, slightly defensive.

The guys laugh as I cross my arms over my chest.

"Don't be upset, lil sis. We just want what's best for you." Joe tells me.

"So you are saying that everyone knew what's best for me, except for me?" I ask.

"Yes." The three of them say in unison.

"You think you're cute but you're not." I crossly say.

"That's a lie. I'm adorable." Tyler says, causing me to laugh.

"Bitch, I'm pretty." Joe shakes his hair at me.

"Alright, alright." I say, laughing. "You are forgiven."

A little while later, Tyler sits down next to me as I am lacing up my boots.

"So this is really in, then? You and Jon?" He asks.

"I feel it, yeah." I look over at my friend with a silly grin across my face. "You know how I mentioned before about feeling like there was fog in my head?" Tyler nods. "It cleared up. The darkness is gone. Jon..Jon chased it away. For both of us."


	26. Chapter 26: Phil's return

Phil wasn't home when I returned to Chicago to move out. It's now been several months since the breakup. We haven't seen each other since that night but have talked a few times on the phone and texts.

I lost my IC title to Curtis Axel, the latest 'Paul Heyman guy' to aid in the feud that would be brewing soon. Not that we needed to add more gas to the fire, in my opinion.

I wasn't sure how I would react or feel when the pay-per-view came around that Phil was making his return on. My worries dissipated when Phil came into the locker room.

"Hey, girl." He greets.

I wrap my arms around my friend, giving him a big hug.

"You look fantastic!" He says as he takes a step back from me. "I don't know what Jon is doing to you, but it's working."

"You wouldn't want to know." I say, blushing.

"I'm sure you're right." He teasingly says.

"How's it going, man?" Jon greets, shaking Phil's hand.

"It's good to be back." Phil smirks.

I snuggle up to Jon, sighing happily. All seemed well in the world.

I wish I could bottle that feeling. Save it for a rainy day.

Especially when news from my doctor could shatter it so easily.

"I'm sorry, you said what?" I ask.

"Ms. Green, you're pregnant." She repeats.


	27. Chapter 27: Pregnant?

Pregnant? Oh God.

How the...When...What...How am I supposed to tell Jon?

"I can see this comes as quite a shock." Dr. Moats says as she looks me over.

"You can say that." I breathlessly reply.

"You and your boyfriend have any talks about this?"

Tons. And not one of them ended favorably.

The color drains from my face. Dr. Moats helps lay me down on the exam table as the room starts to spin.

"Ms. Green, do you need me to call someone for you?"

_Good God, no!_ I bolt up, still shaking slightly.

"No, thank you." I try to keep my voice even but falter.

I left the office barely paying attention to anything else. How I managed to make it home without hitting anything or killing anyone, I'll never know. Guess my autopilot isn't a bad driver. I drop my keys on the floor as I enter our apartment and nearly fall before finding a chair to sit down in.

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." Jon gets down on a knee beside me.

How can I tell him? He's going to freak out. I start to cry, which only makes him more concerned.

"You're scaring me, Kris."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I cry.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" Jon asks, pulling me into his arms.

"I've got something to tell you but I'm not sure..."

"Kris, whatever it is, it'll be okay."

"I...I'm pregnant."

The warm hands that had just been rubbing my back instantly stops. Jon pulls away from me, almost as if I had just headbutted him.

"What?" He asks.

"I just came from the doctor after my quarterly physical. I'm pregnant, Jon."

I might as well have kicked him in the gut. He covers his mouth and stomach as he leans over, looking just as flushed as I do. I had expected the look of fear and confusion when he looked up at me. What I hadn't expected was the look of anger.

"Are you sure its mine?" He asks, his tone bitter.

"Excuse me?" I look at him in shock.

"I mean, you did pretty much jump from Punk's bed to mine. How can you be sure that it's mine?"

I slapped him as hard as I could before I could even think.

"How dare you!" I yell.

The doctor told me that I had gotten pregnant in June. Phil and I broke up at the beginning of May. Granted, not a long time had passed from when Jon and I got back together and when Dr. Moats says I got pregnant, but there is no question in my mind who the father is.

Jon grabs me by the wrists and forces me to my feet. "Listen to me, you little slut. You aren't going to saddle me with some bastard child. I won't let you do to me what the sperm donor did to my whore of a mother."

"Let me go." I frantically pulled away from him.

"I can't even look at you right now. Get the fuck out!"

I scrambled to pick up my keys from the floor as I ran out of the apartment.


	28. Chapter 28: Fallout

"It's going to be okay, Kris." Tyler sweetly tells me as he wraps a comforting arm around me.

"No, it's not." I sob.

I didn't know what else to do, so I called Tyler, who came to pick me up. I've spent the last three hours crying on his shoulder after I told him what happened.

"He's just scared. I'm sure he didn't mean it." Tyler soothingly says.

"You didn't see the look on his face. I've never been afraid of him before, Ty."

"He loves you, Kris. He'll come around."

"And what if he doesn't? What if he really doesn't want this baby? What am I going to do?" I say in between sobs.

"He will. Just give him some time."

"I'm glad you are so sure."

I keep checking my phone, praying for him to call. No calls, no text messages.

"What do you need?" Tyler asks after a few minutes.

"Jon." I start to cry again.

Tyler didn't say anything as he tightens his arm around me. Thankfully, he just lets me cry.

Joe comes over a little while later, nursing a black eye.

"What the hell happened to you?" Tyler asks as Joe sits down at the kitchen table. I jump up and fetch him an ice pack.

"I stopped by to check on Jon before coming over. I've never seen him like this." Joe admits.

"Oh, God."

I barely made it to the trash can before I start throwing up. Tyler graciously holds my hair back as I empty the contents of my stomach.

"Geez, I'm sorry, Kris. I didn't think." Joe apologizes.

"Don't worry about it." I groan.

Hours went by and Jon still hadn't called me. I barely got any sleep and was exhausted by the time we had to leave for the shows.

Jon was unbearable in the locker room. He refused to to talk to me, wouldn't even look me in the eye. Thankfully the only thing I had to do on the show was manage Punk. If only I could have hidden from him.

"What's going on with you? You look terrible." Phil blatantly tells me.

"Thanks." I say out of the corner of my mouth.

"Seriously, what's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant." I admit.

Phil's reaction couldn't have been more different than Jon's. He hugs me tightly, swinging me around until I slap him on the back.

"Knock that off." I say as I brush tears aside.

"Oh." Phil looks confused for a moment before the realization hits him. "Oh. Oh, Kris. I'm so sorry."

"He won't even talk to me, Phil. He even accused me of...something horrible. I...I just can't deal with this."

Phil pulls me to his chest and silently strokes my hair.

"It's going to be okay. You'll see." He comforts me.

"You and Ty sound so sure. I wish I felt like that."

"That man would do anything for you. Just give him time to deal with this."

"And I, what, am supposed to be okay?" I ask.

I begin to fume. This has been a huge shock for me too. We had just gotten back together, things have been going wonderful between us. I haven't been able to deal with the fact that in a few months, I'll be a mother because I've been too busy crying over him.

"You know what...maybe I don't want him to be here if he's going to act like this." I tell Phil.

"You can't honestly mean that." Phil softly says.

"Maybe I do. I don't know what I'm feeling right now." I admit.

"You need to take a minute as well, Kris. But when he comes around, don't shut him out. He and I both know what it's like to grow up with a lousy father. I'm sure that Jon is freaking out right now."

"He's not the only one."

"I know. But it's going to work itself out. You'll see."

"You know something? You really are best in the world." I give him a small grin.

"That's what I keep saying." He boldly says.


	29. Chapter 29

I go to Vince and Stephanie with my news. Thankfully, they were both very sweet and understanding of my desire to keep it quiet for a little bit.

"We can actually use this. No offense, Tabby." Vince starts.

I automatically wave him off. That's Vince for you, always looking at it from a business aspect.

"You'll stay on TV with Punk while he feuds with Heyman and his guys. It'll be good TV, I think." Vince tells me.

"Alright, that sounds like a plan."

I hide my frown through most of the conversation. Stephanie puts a gently hand on my knee and gives it a squeeze.

"It'll all work out." She softly says.

"That's what I've been told." I attempt to give her a smile.

At this point, I don't know what the hell is going on. Jon still hasn't talked to anyone outside of what the plan is for wrestling. Any attempt to talk to him results in him either punching something or walking off.

"He still won't even look at me." My voice sounds pitiful, even to me.

It's been several days. At this point, Tyler can only give me a sympathetic look. I think I'll snap if I hear someone tell me that it'll work out or it'll all be okay. How can it be if Jon won't talk to me?

A week later, my tears turn to anger. By the second week of this, I'm fuming.

"Kris, I can understand where he's coming from." Phil begins.

"Don't you do it, Phil. Don't stick up for him." I point my finger at him.

"I'm just saying I can relate. I had a terrible father. He drank himself to oblivion. Never once did anything to help me out. Jon also had a terrible upbringing, didn't he? He doesn't know how to be a father, Kris. He's never had one."

"You say you can relate but you didn't react like this when I told you."

"Because I know it's not my kid!" Phil practically shouts at me.

This stuns me. I look over at my friend in disbelief.

"It's not my child. I know that. You know that. Jon does too. But believe me, if the roles had been reversed, I would be freaking out too. Granted not to this extreme but that's what he does. That's how he fights."

That took a lot of wind out of my sails. I start biting my lip as I contemplate his words.

"He loves you, Kris. And right now, that man is running scared. And he said something pretty horrible to push you away because it's easier to deal with than the truth."

"So what's the truth then?"

"The truth is that you guys just got back together and this is pretty shocking. He's scared to death that you are going to leave him so he said the unthinkable."

"Why would I leave him?"

"He's afraid he'll be worthless as a father and you'll leave him."

"How do you know this?" I ask.

"Because I would have done something similar if it had been me."

"Damn it, Phil." I cover my face with my hands.

I know he's right. I just don't know what to do about it.

"You know what I think he needs?" Phil asks.

"A good ass kicking?" I ask.

"Exactly."

A small smile threatens to tug on my lips. Phil, of course, is right.

"Go kick some sense into his head." Phil tells me as I get to my feet.

"Oh, believe me, I will."


	30. Chapter 30: A good ass kicking

I march to our front door and knock on it hard. When Jon answers, it's plain to me that he's been drinking heavily and crying hard. His eyes barely register it's me before I shove the door aside.

"Get out." Jon growled.

"No, I don't think so." I cross my arms over my chest defensively.

"Kris, I swear to God..."

"You'll do what exactly? Put my head through the wall?" I taunt.

"Thinking about it." He roughly says.

"Come on, then, big man." I open my arms out to the side, inviting him to strike.

Jon just shakes his head as he walks back over to the kitchen, pouring him a shot of Jack.

"Are you going to talk to me or you going to pour yourself another drink?" I ask.

Jon gulps down the shot and pours another, looking at me warily.

"Fine. Just remember, I gave you the chance for this to be civil." I tell him, then I slap the glass out of his hands.

The glass knocks against the wall and shatters above the sink. Jon's head snaps up, his eyes burning with anger. All the frustrations that I have been feeling over the last few weeks came rushing out of me. I slap him hard, hearing the contact ring in my ear. Jon looks at me angrily but doesn't say or do anything back. This time I kick him hard in the gut. I hear him wheeze as he holds his stomach, struggling to get back onto steady feet. I arch my back, letting out a low growl before I pounce on him. Jon and I fall back on the kitchen floor. Once I have him pinned down on the floor, I let loose a fury of hard strikes, making its mark on his face and chest.

Finally, Jon has had enough. He grabs my arms and rolls me onto my back. He pins my arms above my head as he puts his weight on my legs.

"Get off of me!" I yell as I try to move.

"Never." I barely recognize his voice.

I catch the look in his eye and stop fighting. It's the same look he had on his face when we met. The day I broke up him getting beat up on by the pack of teenagers. It's that mix of terror and salvation that I've come to recognize in me too.

"Please don't leave me." He whispers.

"Oh, my dear, sweet Cowboy."

Jon presses his forehead into mine. I feel the range of emotions running rapid through him. Tears roll down his cheek and on my face.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jon. I told you, I'm yours." I tell him.

His hands stop gripping my wrists. Slowly, he strokes my arms until he releases them completely.

"You told me before that you and I could be each other's destruction or salvation." I remind him.

"I remember."

"So let's choose salvation."

His mouth finds mine, pouring all his emotions into the kiss. It leaves me breathless. I'm thankful that I'm on the floor already as I'm not sure I could support my weight at this moment. I kiss him back with equal intensity, saying all the words my heart was crying out to tell him. When we stop, our breathing is ragged, holding onto each other for support. His hands stroke my torso, coming to a stop at my stomach.

"Forgive...I'm so sorry..."

"I know, babe. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here too." I tell him.

"I'm scared to death."

"I am too, Jon."

"What if I'm a lousy father?"

"You won't." I assure him.

"How can you be so sure?"

"The simple fact that you're so worried about it tells me that you'll do everything you can to make sure that you won't be."

"You think I can do this?"

"I do. And you're not alone in this, sweetheart. We're a team. We're in this together."

"God, Kris."

His mouth finds mine again as our passions overcome us on the kitchen floor. I barely remember removing clothing. Our bodies take over for our words until we're both spent on the floor. Jon lays next to me, panting hard, as I curl up on his chest.

"Let me plan the wedding." Jon says.

I laugh. "I don't remember you asking. And no, I don't want to get married just because I'm pregnant."

"And I don't want to marry you just because you're carrying our child."

Our child. His words make me swoon.

"I want to marry you, Kris. Always. In fact."

Jon gets up and starts pulling on his shorts.

"What?" I ask.

"Hurry up, get dressed. I've got something to show you."

I quickly get dressed and take his outstretched hand. Jon leads me to the door of our spare bedroom.

"I had this prepared for after your physical. Close your eyes." He instructs me.

I look at him skeptical but obey. I hear the door open and a little movement in the room before he takes me by the hand and leads me in.

"Okay, open." He instructs.

"Oh, Jon." I gasp as I open my eyes.

The furniture that was in the room is completely gone. Plastered all over the walls are pictures covering the last ten years. The cowboy hat that he used to wear to make me smile leans against the wall. I start looking at the pictures, completely in awe. Several pictures of us when we were teenagers begin the stretch. Newspaper articles from when I was signed to the WWE were next, followed by a few pictures of him by himself. A screen cap of the promo that he used to try to find me, following by the one that we posted together. Finally pictures of us over the last year. I am amazed by the amount of details in the pictures.

"It's a timeline of us." I say.

"Yes. Spent a lot of time working on this. You are the love of my life, Kris. There's never been anyone else."

He picks up the cowboy hat and puts it on. Underneath the hat is a little blue box. He gets down on one knee in front of me, opening the box to show a beautiful diamond ring.

"Marry me." He says.

"My Cinni Cowboy. Yes, I'll marry you."


	31. Chapter 31: Wedding

I don't think my feet touched the ground the next two days.

Jon refuses to let me help with any of the wedding planning. Part of me thinks he's doing it to irritate me, which he confirmed when he laughed when I express my frustrations.

"Relax. I got this." Jon boldly tells me.

"You just want to marry me before I get fat and you change your mind." I taunt.

"Don't you worry about that." Jon tells me before hungrily kissing me.

"Isn't that just the sweetest?" Tyler teases.

I punch him in the shoulder before sticking my tongue out at him.

"Jealous?" Jon teasingly says.

"Immensely." Tyler sighs.

_Aw, buddy!_ I gently rub the spot where I punched him.

I am practically bubbling with excitement. We were all getting ready to leave for an international tour, which I always love. The crews are splitting up into thirds: One crew to Mexico, one to South Africa, and one to Australia. I was beyond thrilled when I was told I was going to Australia with my guys. Well, most of my guys.

"I'm on the Mexico tour." Phil tells me.

"Bummer." I sadly say.

Phil shrugged. "It's no big. There will be more tours."

The flight to Australia was long but enjoyable. I crash in the hotel room right after we got there.

"Wake up. Kris, wake up!" Someone is shaking me awake.

"Wha-?" I groggily say as I try to open my eyes.

"Wake up, silly." I hear the female voice again.

When I finally will my eyes open, I am surprised to see Trish standing by my bed. I gasp, suddenly wide awake, as Trish throws her arms around me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Surprise! You can't get married without me, silly." Trish beams.

"Trish say what now?" I look at her in shock.

"Surprise!" AJ comes out of the bathroom, holding up a simple cream colored dress that's nearly as tall as she is.

Both women are wearing matching purple dresses. Their hair and makeup is already done. It takes me a few moments to realize what's going on. I laugh as I cover my face with my hands, wiping away tears.

"Those better be tears of happiness." Trish says, her voice guarded.

I fan my face with my hands, my face turning bright red. I happily nod, wiping away a few more tears.

"Come on! You can't keep your future husband waiting." AJ says, tugging on my arm.

Jon really had gone all out. The cream colored dress has a simple lace overlay, which I instantly love. With the dress came with sandles to match. AJ helps place little white daisies in parts of my hair, letting the rest flow over me in soft curls.

"Something blue." AJ says as she puts a blue hair clip in my hair to hold the daisies.

"Something old. I want this back." Trish tells me as she puts a tennis bracelet on my wrist.

"Something new is the dress. Now we just need something borrowed..." AJ says as she starts searching in a bag. "Ah, here it is!" she exclaims, pulling out a lace garder.

"Aw, you guys!" I start tearing up again.

"Don't cry. You'll ruin your makeup." Trish says as she pulls me to the full length mirror.

Wow, even I have to admit that I look good.

"I'm so happy you're here." I tell her as I give her hand a squeeze.

"I wouldn't miss it. Come now, let's get you married."

AJ hands me a bouquet of white roses and daises- Jon really has thought of everything- and lead me down stairs.

"Don't you look stunning." I hear as we head down the stairs.

"Phil!" I exclaim, throwing my arms around him.

"Of course. Someone needs to walk you down the aisle." He says with a wink.

"But I thought-" No wait, I know I saw him advertised for Mexico!

"I am on the Mexico tour. I fly out as soon as this party is over." He tells me, offering his arm.

"Thank you. It wouldn't be right without you here." I say.

"That's what Jon said to talent to let me be here."

My heart swells. Everything is just perfect.

We head out towards the beach, where I see an arch has been built by the shoreline. The sun is starting to come up as we make our way. Good Lord, what time is it? I didn't even bother to look when I woke up.

Joe and Seth stand next to Jon, each wearing a crisp white shirt and black slacks. Everyone that was on tour with us stood out in the sand. Phil places my hand in Jon's then kisses my cheek.

"Surprised?" Jon's blue eyes are twinkling.

"More than words." I say with a smile.

"Dearly beloved, we are gather here today..." The preacher begins with a thick Australian accent.

I realize that I haven't written any vows but that doesn't matter as I look at Jon.

"My sweet, wonderful Kristina. The day you walked into that bar was one of the happiest days of my life. I am not a highly spiritual man, but I do believe that you were put on this Earth for me. There's no one I would rather fight with than you. No one I would rather make love with than you. You are my light in this dark world. I plan to be by your side to the end of our days. I've been in love with you since I was thirteen. Even death will not change how I feel about you. I love you."

"Wow. I didn't really have anything prepared." I laugh a little. "I've never given up on us, even in those times of darkness. You were the candle leading me to the light. To say that I love you doesn't quite cover the depth but I know you understand when I am unable to speak. You are my perfect partner to walk this Earth with. My equal. I can't imagine my life without you and I know I'll never have to."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride." The preach says.

Jon places his hands on the side of my face, pulling me in for a sweet yet passionate kiss. Our friends cheer as AJ starts blowing bubbles.

"Allow me to present for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Good!"


	32. Chapter 32: Summer Slam

"CM Punk, you should really rethink this decision to enter the match against Brock Lesnar! After all, you do have more than just yourself to think about now, don't you?" Paul Heyman, goads us as Phil and I stand up on the ramp on Smackdown while he's down in the ring.

"I understand congratulations are in order to the Mr. and now Mrs. Did I hear rumor that Tabby is now in the...family way?"

I automatically flush on stage. Phil is fuming at this point. He starts down the ramp, making a beeline straight for Heyman.

"Ah, Punk. I see I struck a nerve. I must remind you, place a hand on me and your match with Brock Lesnar for Summer Slam isn't going to happen!"

Phil and I stop in our tracks as we step in between the ring ropes. This just makes Paul laugh.

"Go ahead, I know you want to. But, my former best in the world, then I wouldn't get to see Brock take you to the limit. All the while making Tabby sit quietly like the dotting lady that she pretends to be."

Phil takes a step forward, but I place a hand on his chest. A small smile tugs on the corner of my mouth as I raise my eyebrow. Paul is now standing behind us, laughing and taunting. I spin around, punching Paul so hard that he crumbles onto the mat.

"Brock!" He shrieks.

From our position in the ring, I can hear John Bradshaw Layfield say that the stipulation is that Punk can't touch Heyman, not me.

"Ow, Kris, you could have pulled your punch a little bit!" Paul says as soon as we get into the back.

"We weren't going to say anything about me being pregnant until Night of Champions, Paul." I flatly told him.

"Oh. That's right. I'm sorry. Guess I let the cat out of the bag, didn't I?" Paul looked sheepish at me.

"You deal with Jon." I tell him, motioning that I was washing my hands of the situation.

Summer Slam went well, with Punk losing to Lesnar. With it being no disqualification, I made sure to stay out of their way.

Also that night, my friend Daniel Bryan beat John Cena for the WWE title, only for the special guest referee Triple H to give him his finisher then the Money in the Bank winner Randy Orton cashed in, becoming the new champion.

After Summer Slam, Stephanie grabbed me for an idea.

"We want to split you from Punk." She tells me.

"Again? Come on, Steph." I sigh.

"No, I think you'll like this. With Paul spilling the beans on you being pregnant sooner than we wanted, we want to add you to this Daniel Bryan storyline and put you with The Shield." She explains.

"Steph, that's great and all but I kind of can't do a lot." I look at her skeptically.

"Trust me, I know. On Raw, Hunter is going to put Daniel through a gauntlet vs The Shield. He'll announce that anyone on the roster that helps Daniel will be fired. You come out and cheer him on."

"And then I cost him." A slow smile spread across my lips.

"You get to be the heel you've been begging me for." Stephanie returned my smile.

I hug her so hard that I squeeze the air out of her. She pats me on the back as I skip out of her office.


	33. Chapter 33: Raw turn

The next week, Punk is scheduled to wrestle Curtis Axel and if he wins, he'll finally get his hands on Paul Heyman. After Punk won, I threw Heyman into the ring but Phil was blind sided by Axel. Paul handcuffed me to one side of the ring while they double teamed and beat on him.

"Leave him alone!" I cry out, trying to kick at Axel.

Axel laughed at me as he hit Punk with a kendo stick.

Welts are starting to form on Punk's chest and back as he is also handcuffed opposite of me. Tears streak down my cheeks as I beg them to stop. The crowd really rallied behind my emotion, practically begging for their blood.

At commercial, a stage hand got me out of the cuffs and we helped Phil into the back.

"Beautiful! The crowd is really going to hate you later." Paul says, giving me a hug.

I beam as I return his hug. Phil gives me a high five. "Been great working with you again."

"Oh, I'm sure this won't be the last time." I say with a smile.

The entire roster was called to the stage as Daniel made his way to the ring for the gauntlet match. Three minutes into his match with Seth, Daniel gets knocked to the outside. Dean and Roman start to move in on him. I run out to ringside, getting in between Dean and Daniel.

"Tabby, what are you doing? Move!" Dean orders.

I shake my head no. Seth makes a dive through the ropes, landing on Daniel on the outside. I stay on the outside as Seth and Daniel roll back into the ring.

The crowd gets on their feet as they watch me cheer on Daniel.

He hits his knee finisher on Seth and pins him. Dean jumps into the ring and starts pounding on him. I jump up on the apron as Daniel puts Dean into his submission finisher. Just as it looks like Dean might tap, I jump into the ring and roundhouse kick Daniel on the side of his head.

Referee calls for the bell but Roman is already in the ring. We all start kicking Daniel, calling for the match to be thrown out. Seth and Roman pick Daniel up and I slap him hard across the face.

Triple H is on the ramp with the rest of the superstars, laughing and clapping over the scene. As Randy Orton made his way to the ring, Dean grabs a fistful of my hair, yanks me back, and plants a huge kiss on me, causing the crowd to boo us further.

He slips one arm around my waist and starts to rub my swollen stomach, getting a louder reaction the more he does it. Randy picks up Daniel and gives him his finisher. Dean, Roman, Seth, and I stand together, extending our arm out into a fist as the show goes off the air.


	34. Chapter 34: Smackdown

At the Smackdown taping, I would be in a segment with Miz for his "talk show" Miz TV.

"Now, Tabby, I'm sure you know why you're here." Miz begins as I sit on the stool set up in the ring.

"For you to bore me and the crowd to death." I roll my eyes.

"The WWE Universe is dying to know why you did what you did to Daniel Bryan Monday night on Raw."

I sigh, as if completely bored with his question.

"Miz, I would think the answer was obvious but since you're a bit thick, I'll lay it out for you. It wasn't personal with Daniel Bryan. I like Daniel Bryan. He is one hell of a wrestler. Yes, he beat John Cena at Summer Slam for the WWE title but Randy Orton cashed in Money in the Bank. You know how Money in the Bank works, don't you, Miz? You are going to fault Randy for taking the same opportunity that others had before him, including yourself? Daniel just needs to bide his time to Night of Champions and do his talking in the ring. Going up against Triple H and the McMahons is only going to cause problems."

"But why did you decide to align yourself with The Shield?"

"Why I...Did you just ask why I decided to align myself with The Shield? Miz, I've been with the Shield since Survivor Series I've never made any bones about that. I may not have been with them every week because my focus has been on other things, but make no mistake, nothing changed on Raw."

"And what about CM Punk?"

"What about CM Punk, Miz?" I look at him confused.

"I'm sure he's not going to be happy that his wife-"

"Woah, woah. Hold on there, skippy. I am a happily married woman with a baby on the way but CM Punk is not my husband. What made you think he is?"

"Paul Heyman said-"

"Oh, Paul Heyman said what? He said congratulations to the Mr. and Mrs." I pause while the realization washes over Miz and the audience. "And he's right about that. I have recently gotten married but it wasn't to Punk."

Miz starts scratching his head. "If you aren't married to Punk then-"

Miz's question gets cut off by The Shield's music. "You really are thick sometimes." I tell Miz as Dean, Seth, and Roman head to the ring.

I smile big as the three men join us in the ring. Dean grabs some of my hair, tilting my head to the side and gives me one big lick from my collar bone to my ear. I can't help but giggle.

"Really? Really? Really, Tabby?" Miz says.

I kick back the stool, glaring over at Miz now.

"Then I guess it is true. You sleep with dogs, you're bound to get fleas."

I slap him hard as the crowd erupts. Dean, Seth, and Roman immediately jump on Miz. He tries to fight back but I hit him with one of the stools in the ring. Dean and Seth pick him up and they powerbomb him.

The four of us stand over the prone body of Miz as we struck out our arms in The Shield's victory pose.


	35. Chapter 35: It's A

"Cowboy, what are you doing in there?" I ask through the closed door of the spare bedroom.

"Just a sec and I'll show you." Jon muffled replies.

I press my ear to the door, trying to hear what he's doing.

It's been four months now since we found out about the baby. Jon has more or less locked him in the spare room, working on turning it into a nursery. I've been going crazy because our doctor told him the sex of the baby but not me. He's been working on the nursery to show me as the reveal.

We had easily decided on names before hand. I've been regretting letting him talk me into him doing this.

"Close your eyes." Jon says from the other side of the door.

"Open the door!" I call out.

"Close your eyes. Don't ruin my fun."

I sigh but comply. The door creaks as he checks to see if I have listened. I feel his hands on my shoulders as he walks me into the room.

"Alright, open." He giddily says.

"Oh, Jon." I say in awe as I gaze about the room.

A perfect wooden crib is set up in the corner, with a blue and green baby blanket draped over the side. He had gone all out. A changing table as well as a little dresser lined the other wall. A cowboy hat shaped rug is in the center of the room. A small nightstand with a lamp sat next to the bed. A matching slider rocker also sits next to the bed. The walls are painted with a Western theme, borders line to match. Hanging above the crib is a mobile with horses and stars. Painted on the wall above the crib reads Samuel Phillip Good.

"Do you like it?" He asks.

"It's...it's perfect." I teary-eyed tell him. "We're having a boy?"

Jon happily nods. I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. Jon presses his forehead into mine as we both smile. "We're having a boy."

I kiss him again, this time with more fervor. It's been several days since I've gotten to be with my husband, which is a long time for us. Jon moans into my kiss, responding back with just as much intensity.

We make our way across the hall into our bedroom, removing clothing along our way. My head dips back as Jon's lips find my neck, moving down to my swelling breasts.

"I have missed you." He says before taking a nipple into his mouth.

My hand grips a fistful of his hair in response. He teases and sucks on my nipple, gently biting at one point. His other hand squeezes my breast, pulling and twisting on my nipple as I moan. The things this man can do with his mouth...

No sooner than the thought is in my head does he leave my chest, trailing kisses down my swollen belly. I grin as he sweetly kisses my belly button, running his hands gently across before moving further down to my thighs. My body bows under him as he moves his mouth and hands, crying out for more.

We're both covered in sweat by the time he hitches up my thighs and moves inside of me. Our breathing gets harsh and raspy as we find our happy rhythm.

"Oh, God, Kris." Jon buries his face in between my breasts as he thrusts into me.

My nails graze his back, encouraging him on. I tilt my hips to meet him as we're both nearing our climax. When we come, it's hard. Our bodies shake from the release, calling out each other's names.

"I love you, I love you, I do." I say over and over in his arms as I curl up on his chest.

"Always." He kisses my forehead as our pulse starts to return to a normal pace.


	36. Chapter 36: Birth

"Your son is enjoying being in my ribs today." I tell Jon as I waddle over to the couch.

As soon as I sit down, Jon jumps on the couch and lays his head on my stomach. After a moment, he pulls up my shirt so his ear is resting on my belly.

"He's pretty active today." Jon says.

My due date was two days ago and I'm starting to get anxious. My doctor assured me that it's normal, especially for a first pregnancy, but I was more than ready for Sammy to be born.

Jon's head came up as he felt Sammy kick. "That even hurt me." He says with a chuckle.

His hands stroke my belly, cooing as he's grown accustomed to doing. "Be nice to Momma." He says before kissing my stomach.

I sigh deeply. I'm uncomfortable, hot, and getting more and more agitated.

"Do you want to have sex?" I blurt out the question.

Jon laughs. "Hell of a way to proposition me, woman."

"Trying to think of any way that would make my water break."

"No offense, dear, but if that happens while we're having sex, that will be the last time we ever do." Jon says, smirking at me.

I chop him hard in the chest. Jon rubs his chest, still smirking at me.

"My poor baby. You look miserable."

"I am." I say, attempting to get off the couch but failing.

Jon snickers as he gets off the couch and helps me up. I smack his arm as I waddle past him, heading off to the laundry room.

As I'm folding towels, I feel a sharp pain in my side. I gasp, holding onto the wall for support.

"Baby?" I call out, having to hold my stomach.

The sound of my voice must have alarmed him. Jon runs down the hallway, nearly smacking into the door frame.

"Baby?" He asks.

I breathe out slowly as another sharp pain hits.

"Okay...okay...we're prepared for this." He says, suddenly looking shaken.

"My bag is in the nursery." I tell him.

"Right. I need to call Dr. Moats." He nearly stutters as he walks out.

I manage to make it down the hall before another pain hit. My water broke as Jon helped me into the car. I close my eyes and breathe like we were taught in the baby classes.

"Doing great, love." Jon tells me as he speeds to the hospital.

The sound of sirens behind me causes me to panic slightly. I smack against the car door as he pulls over.

"Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?" The officer asks as Jon rolls down the window.

"Yes sir, I do. But my wife is in labor."

Almost on cue, another labor pain hits. I cry out, hitting the dash in pain.

"Oh. Yes, I see this. Do you need an escort?" The officer asks.

"Please." I breathe out deeply.

Jon reaches over and tries to grab my hand, which makes me snap.

"You've touched me enough, thank you."

The cop chuckles as he walks back to the car. My husband looks at me sympathetically as I growl at him.

By the time we get to the hospital, my breathing is heavy. I get helped into a wheelchair and we get checked in.

"How are we doing today?" A woman asks as I am changed into the hospital gown and helped into bed.

"Cathy?" I ask in surprise.

"Hello there, Kris." She beams over at me.

"Ty didn't tell me you were now a maternity nurse." I say, relieved to see a familiar face.

"Only just started this week." She tells me as she starts connecting sensors to me. "Shall I call him?"

"I'm sure my louse for a husband is calling people." I tell her.

"So snarky." She laughs.

I grip her hand as another contraction hits.

"Your boy is in a hurry." She notes, looking at the monitor.

"About time." I say through gritted teeth.

"Just keep calm. Keep breathing. You're doing fine." She tells me.

"Where have you been?" I snap as Jon enters the room.

He blanches for a moment but quickly recovers. "I have papers to fill out, love. Sorry."

"I'm so sorry, Cowboy." I reach out for his hand.

Jon kisses my forehead as he gives my hand a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry about it. Beat me up all you want."

The next several hours flies by fast, the labor pains increasing with intensity. Jon is great throughout, not wincing through my snap comments or jabs.

"Alright, Kristina, your son is ready. When you feel pressure, bare down for me, alright?" Dr. Moats instructs.

I nod, breathing deeply. I cry out as I push.

"Just one more push, Kris." Dr. Moats tells me.

I bare down hard, feeling the relief as the pressure gripping me is gone.

I hold my breath until I hear Sammy cry.

"It's a boy!" Dr. Moats exclaims.

Jon wipes the sweat off my face, covering me with kisses. Dr. Moats hands the baby over to nurse Cathy, who cleans him up before presenting our son to Jon.

I look over in complete awe as Jon cradles our son to his chest. He leans down so I can see his face for the first time

"He's perfect." I coo, gently stroking his tiny arm.

Sammy looks just like his father. Soft, matted curls brushed back from his face, one little fist balled up under his chin, the other slowly flexing before dropping casually to the side.

"Still wondering if you're his father?" I joke.

"I said I was sorry for that." Jon says as he hands Sammy over to me.

"You're still going to pay for that. Just every now and then."

A steady stream of visitors come in a blur after Sammy and I are rested. I smile as each of our friends take turns holding him.

"You know how many women's ovaries would explode, seeing the sight of either of you with an infant in your arms?" I tease Tyler and Joe.


	37. Chapter 37: Home

I lean against the doorway of the nursery, watching Jon rock Sammy in his arms.

"He was fussy." He quietly tells me from the rocker.

My little family. We're far from perfect, but we're perfect together.

The baby gives a little yawn and stretches in Jon's arms before settling down and falling asleep. I quietly enter the room, stroking Sammy's dirty blonde hair before kissing my husband.

"I had no idea it would be like this." Jon whispers.

"I think I lost you to another man." I tease.

Jon looks up at me with eyes filled with love and adoration. "Lose me? Never. Now, if we have a little girl..."

I quietly chuckle. "Then it's all over for you. Sammy already has you wrapped around his finger."

"That's my little man." Jon beams.

Jon continues to slowly rock Sammy. So many different images run through my mind as I watch the two of them. He looks so blissful with the baby wrapped in his muscular arms.

We've fought for and at each other. I nearly lost him at one point, surrounded by darkness. Thank God this man has been my light.

"Come to bed?" I whisper, my voice full of love and promise.

Jon gently lays Sammy down in his crib, brushing the curls from his face. We slip back to our bedroom, holding each other like our lives depend on it. In truth, it does.


	38. Chapter 38: End

Thank you so much for reading my story! If you enjoyed it, please feel free to let me know either by leaving a review, sending me a PM or tweet at me (at refbabe)

Make sure you follow a new story I'm working on, called "Get her to the church" featuring several wrestlers set as 1930s mobsters.

Also will be writing a new story, featuring the oc and Punk's daughter, as mentioned at the end of that one.

Thanks, everyone!


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